


Which

by leviphiliac



Series: Which [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Which (indie game)
Genre: Bottom Eren Yeager, M/M, POV Second Person, Smut, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but a fic about death, i promise this is not a sad story, indie game, it's not a death fic, past Levi/Farlan, riren - Freeform, rivaere - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-05-12 13:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviphiliac/pseuds/leviphiliac
Summary: You're Levi Ackerman. You wake up in an unfamiliar place and set out to find what the hell's going on, and why you can't leave. Also, you're not alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably post about one chapter per week. And I don't have a beta. Please leave a comment either here on tumblr in case something doesn't make sense. Or just overall leave a comment. My tumblr is yozokai.

You wake up in an unfamiliar room. Your vision, for some reason, is black and white. _What the fuck?_ You think. _Did someone slip me an LSD or some shit like that last night in the— _in the… where? You can't remember anything about last night. The last memory of the day before that comes to you is finishing your job around 4 p.m. You were going to go home, take a shower, have some dinner, and maybe check out that new club that opened a few blocks from the shithouse you usually frequent. That had to be it. Going to the new club was the only different thing in your boring ass life.__

__But… it didn't make any sense. You haven’t been tricked by the old slipping a Mickey since you were a kid. You've developed a new cup-holding habit that stopped people from peering inside your cup ever since. That couldn’t be it._ _

__You groan and stand up, trying to feel up for any bruises. In a bout of urban legend fueled paranoia, you lift up your shirt and look to your side, but there are no scars there, it seems all your organs are still inside your body. There are no marks on you, at least not on any places you can see._ _

__You don't feel hungover or tired. Your cellphone's in your pocket. You flip it open, but there's no reception. Of course there isn't._ _

__"Let's get the fuck out of here then, shall we. Regardless of where 'here' is."_ _

__The door directly in front of you is clearly marked 'exit'. It opens easily, but to your surprise, there's another door behind it. The chains all over it make it pretty obvious it won't be so simple, but you try anyway. The doorknob barely turns._ _

__You sigh and stare at your gray hands. Rubbing a finger on your arm, you confirm that's definitely not paint. The blue shirt you have on, which you recognize, is a dark shade of grey now. Your skin matching the colorless surroundings tell you this isn't exactly a normal situation._ _

__You've never lucid dreamed before, you don't know if there's a way to wake yourself up if that's the case, but you try nonetheless._ _

__"You're dreaming, asshole. Wake up. You got clobbered last night by some douche with a death wish and now it's time to grant him that wish. So wake the fuck up."_ _

__Nothing. You groan again, and look around. The place doesn't seem all that big, but you can see there's a second floor. With your drowsy mind, you hadn't considered yet that you might not be alone._ _

__The room ahead seems to be a kitchen. You think about arming yourself, though you don't have high hopes. There is a door with a heart drawn on it, but it's locked. You search drawers and cabinets, and find a key with a number 1 tag. You doubt it'll work with the chains, but you try anyway. After the fruitless task, you continue searching on the cabinets only to find a whole bunch of nothing._ _

__There is an unlocked door, and it turns out to be a minuscule bathroom. The moment you reach for the key in the sink, it falls down the drain. You mutter an expletive or two, wondering where you've seen that scene before._ _

__You kick the drain pipe and the key jingles inside, mocking you. There isn't anything else of interest in the bathroom._ _

__Well… there is a rail in the back that you stare begrudgingly at. You can't reach it. Fuck it. Who needs weapons. Your fists and legs are your weapons. Fuck you, absurdly highly placed rail._ _

__Removing a drawer from the cabinet, you throw it against the front window. It doesn’t even crack, and the sound is unnatural. You run a finger through the window surface and notice it doesn’t even feel like glass. It's more like it was part of the wall, painted to look like a window. But the light coming from it seems genuine. Even if it's only brightness._ _

__You finally look at the stairs. With all the noise you've made, if there is someone else in here, they've probably heard you by now. You climb the stairs quickly but cautiously and examine the narrow corridor. Four doors._ _

__Three are marked with numbers, the other has a… an oval picture, apparently symbolizing a head. A head with no face. You remind yourself not to pick up any notes, should you find one._ _

__You use the key you found to open the door marked with a 1 and peer inside. Looks empty. Opening the door all the way clears any suspicion that there could be someone behind it. There is another door that seems to lead outside. You know it's locked but you try it anyway, of course. The window besides it is just like the one downstairs._ _

__There's a closet with nothing and no one inside, and some drawings on the wall. Apparently they indicate that you have to find a key to exit. Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. And there are splatters of something on the wall. Grey as they are, it could be anything, from blood to jizz to who knows, paint?_ _

__The drawings on the wall also seem to indicate you won't be able to leave if you have someone else with you. Maybe. Whatever. Another key is hanging high by the window, and your sigh is even more annoyed than before. You take off your shirt and use it to whip the key down._ _

__So you're not very tall. Who cares. It's not like you don't have more than a few tricks up your sleeve._ _

__The new key has a tag with the number 2 in it, and you're not sure what you were expecting to find in there as you unlock it, but it certainly wasn't a headless mannequin. A very realistic headless manne—_ _

__It moved._ _

__You stand your ground, in a relaxed stance but ready to strike. You still have no idea what's going on, but now you're just going to roll with it. If a headless mannequin attacks you, you'll fight it._ _

__As you take a step into the room, the thing raises an arm, showing you a key it's holding. Before you can do anything about it, it points at the wall._ _

__More drawings. Key equals heart or head? What? You look at the mannequin thing, and it has a heart-shaped hole in its chest. It's missing its head and heart then._ _

Suddenly you remember where you saw the scene with the key falling down a drain. _Saw_ begins like that. That is fantastic news. 

__

__You sigh loudly, whatever apprehension you might have been feeling towards the headless thing vanishing as you make peace with the idea that someone, somehow, might be playing a practical joke on you._ _

__

After all, it seems pretty obvious this thing, for some reason, wants you to go fetch its missing parts in exchange for that key. It's a game. You know, like in _Saw_. 

____

__You could always just take it by force, though. Bizarre creature or not, you're pretty sure you can take it._ _

____

__The moment you touch the thing's arm, it vanishes in static. If this is really a practical joke, it's a very elaborate one. You open the closet, hoping to find the thing in there, but there's nothing. Leaning against the closet on the ground is a wrench. Oh. The drainpipe key._ _

____

__The headless thing is downstairs, hanging by the heart door. You ignore it and enter the small bathroom again. Even if you're not quite sure what you're doing, with little effort you remove the pipe and retrieve the key. To your absolute lack of surprise, it has the number 3 in it._ _

____

__So you go back upstairs and open door number 3. The only thing inside is yet another key, and the tag is that blank face._ _

____

__That thing's head._ _

____

__So if you give it head (you cackle to yourself) it will give you the key? It'll probably want the heart too, but first things first._ _

____

__You open the new door, and inside it also looks like a bathroom. And the only place a head could be hiding is…_ _

____

__Yeah, it's the toilet. You raise the lid and there it is. It looks… wet, and you really don't want to touch it. So you go and look for the thing to come and get it. You're not sure if it can hear you, so you just motion for it to follow you, and when you're back in the room, you just point at the toilet._ _

____

__The thing examines the head as if it could see, then it just jams it back in place with a squelching sound. Before you can get a look at it now that it's fully formed, it runs past you and explodes in static again. You follow the noise of shuffling keys and return to that number one room. The thing seems to be reading the drawings on the wall. The ones that seem to indicate you can't leave even if you have a key, if you're not alone._ _

____

__Then it looks at you._ _

____

__Oh._ _

____

__You take a kick stance, but the thing suddenly brings out a knife out of nowhere and lunges at you. You dodge easily, but it does it again, and again, and again. Disarming someone has always been easy for you, but that thing apparently isn't an amateur, and it holds its own against you. Not something many can do. Pretty soon it dawns on you that you're fighting on equal grounds._ _

____

__No. Not equal. Because that thing has a knife. You still don't know if this is all a joke or not and you don't care. All you care about is having an advantage over it._ _

____

__You kick it straight in its brand new head, but it's like it doesn't even feel it. And your kicks are not exactly something to laugh about._ _

____

__The thing towers over you, and you know you're cornered. You go for the door, but before you can reach the doorknob, it stabs you. Your arm is covered in that same white that's splattered against the wall behind you, and you don't feel anything. It stabs you again, not your arm this time, but your stomach. You still don't feel it._ _

____

__You've been stabbed before, and it hurts. It hurts a lot. The fact that you don't feel it this time is enough to convince you that none of this is real. But you're still bleeding profusely. You bleed even more as the thing keeps on stabbing you over and over. Whatever. You're too tired to care. It doesn't hurt anyway. Maybe this is the way to get out of this… whatever this is._ _

____

__Then you hear a door opening, but you can't move anymore. The thing has vanished from your sight, so you close your eyes and try to fall asleep. You're so tired._ _

____

__You open your eyes and there's a door marked 'exit' in front of you._ _

____


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you were promised an Eren?

You're not a religious person by any stretch, but right now only one thing can explain the situation.

"I'm in hell." Either that or a really complex virtual reality game. You have no idea what to do with this thought, so you just go to the kitchen and grab that number 1 key again. The mysterious splatter on the wall looks the same as it did before you bled all over it, and key number 2 is still hanging by the window.

When you open door 2, the thing just repeats its movements from before. Maybe it doesn't remember the whole thing literally just happened?

"What the fuck are you? Huh? I know you don't have a head, but I'm pretty sure you can see and hear. Maybe you can talk too."

It shakes its shoulders and you have a moment to realize it's shaking its nonexistent head.

"You can't talk? Or you won't?"

The thing starts moving its hands as if explaining something, but you have no idea what it's trying to say, and it just annoys you.

"Get the fuck out of my face." You shove it, and it disappears in that static explosion. You wish you could relieve it from its knife, but how are you going to do this if you can't touch it? So you grab the wrench and go back downstairs to get key number 3. As before, it falls down the drain before you can grab it, like a scripted event.

The thing is standing by the heart door again, but you don't remember seeing any heart keys anywhere. Should you really play its game though? Look where it's got you last time.

"Don't think I'm gonna let you stab me again, fucker. I'll look for the key, because honestly, I can't think of anything else to do right now. But you come any closer and I'll shove this wrench so far up your ass you'll—" before you can finish your zinger, you notice you're not holding the wrench anymore, and that it has vanished out of existence. "Fuck." You point a finger at it. "Regardless, you watch your back."

The thing just stands there unmoving, apparently unaffected by your threats, and you fight the urge to just shove it again. "Why don't you at least make yourself useful and give me an idea of where this key could be?"

It opens its hands with its palms up. It doesn't know. Awesome. You search the whole house again twice, and eventually find it behind door number 3, counterintuitively on the ground instead of in the keyhole. You go back to the heart door and kick the thing's shin none too gently. It disappears, but returns almost instantly the moment you unlock the door.

The heart is hanging from a pipe, and you move out of the way so the thing can grab it and jam it in place like it did with the head. Then you follow it to the room with the apparent exit door, but you keep your distance, watching it from the hallway. It's not going to one up you this time. When it can't open the door, it looks at the drawings again, and at the moment of realization, it looks at you. Or at least turns towards you, since it doesn't have the head this time. The knife appears in its hand again, but this time instead of charging you, it starts stabbing itself.

It repeats the action over and over, just like it did to you. After a while, you hear the sound of the door being unlocked. You glance at the form on the ground, spasming and bleeding out but not really dead yet. "I see." It follows either its head or its heart, that can only be it. You step over it and glance at the white light emanating from the ajar door. It gives off a feeling of dread bigger than anything you've experienced in this place so far, but you don't see any other choice. So you leave.

All around, all you can see is white. You take a few steps and look back. The door is still there, and you suddenly feel the urge to rush back to it. You like this outside place even worse than you liked the house. But you just keep on walking, and the next time you look back, you can't see the door anymore.

Then you feel a pressure so strong behind your eyes that you have to close them, and when you open them again, you're back inside the house, back in front of that 'exit' marked door.

"Motherfucker."

You take some time to think about what to do next. What if you could get both the head and the heart at the same time? Maybe that's what the problem is, it's resetting because you're doing it wrong.

So you take key 1, open door, take key 2, open door, ignore thing, grab wrench, drop key 3 in pipe, use wrench, grab key 3, open door, grab both keys.

Okay. Now you have to stop the thing from getting its body part before you can put both of them together. Maybe you could lock it in one of the rooms.

As you turn to do just that, the thing is standing right behind you, and it takes all of your self control not to jump. You wonder if you're losing your touch, you never let people creep up on you like that. Then again, that thing isn't exactly a person, is it.

"Godamnit. Listen, I have a plan. Stay in the room you were before and don't move until I call you, got it?"

It gives you a fucking thumbs up. So you go to the heart door and dislodge the pipe from the wall, taking the heart to the room with the head.

"Alright, get over here." The thing appears almost instantly, and it just stands there, apparently unsure of what to do next. As a precaution, you suggest it take the heart first, then the head. It nods again, and does what you told it. Instead of teleporting to the exit room once it's complete, it turns towards you.

"Thanks. Oh. I can speak!"

You cross your arms. "Apparently you can. So take this opportunity to tell me what the hell is going on, why don't you."

"I… I don't know anything. I just woke up like that, without my head and my heart. The weird thing is, I could still see and hear. I just couldn't do anything. The door was locked, and I don't even know how you got that wrench. It wasn't there before you got into the room. I still don't know why I didn't freak out or anything. Maybe because the whole thing felt like a dream. I have this key with me and… I dunno, I feel like I should give it to you for putting me back together." It offers you the key and you take it.

"What about your knife?"

It frowns at you. "Knife? I don't know anything about a knife."

You take a step towards it. "Oh, really?"

"Um… yeah." The thing smirks, crossing its arms. "You wanna frisk me?"

You think about the wrench, disappearing after it served its purpose. Maybe the knife only appeared when it was supposed to be used? You don't trust the thing at all, but it makes sense. Nevertheless, you'll be on your guard. "Never mind. But you used to have one. This happened before. Twice now. Don't you remember?"

"What? No, I'm pretty sure I'd remember having my heart removed from my chest and being beheaded."

"I meant ever since waking up here. First I found your head, and you put it on, and… follow me for a second." You leave the cramped bathroom and enter room 1 again. "Well, you took one look at this wall and stabbed me like 80 times."

"Huh? I… I would never—"

"Shut up. You did. Then I woke up again and it was like nothing had happened, and I found your heart instead. Then you stabbed yourself and I left. And same thing happened once again. That's why I decided to get both of your parts at the same time. And now here we are."

"I… I don't think killing someone or myself is something I would ever do."

It sounds genuine, and you're very good at telling when someone's lying. And you do have to get to the bottom of this, and it's not going to happen if you don't at least give it the benefit of the doubt. "I think maybe you worked differently without either your head or your heart. Makes sense if you think about it." It doesn't look like it's following your train of thought, so you spell it out for it. "You used your head to get out of here, but you didn't have a heart. Literally and figuratively. You looked at those drawings and figured the only way you could leave was by killing me, so that's what you did. The next time, you only had your heart, but not your head. So you did the opposite. Do you get it now?"

"Yeah, I see. That might be it then. So if it happened twice and you remember, that explains why you looked like you knew what you were doing." The thing, which you're considering stop calling it a thing now that it looks pretty much human, is studying the drawings on the wall once again. "So it's like you said, we can't leave if there's two of us, huh?"

You look at its—his face. "What's your name?"

He crosses his arms raising an eyebrow, looking all sassy at you. "Uh… it's polite to introduce yourself first when you want to know someone else's name?"

"Do I look fucking polite to you? Out of my way, I'm still trying this key." You push him aside, and notice in surprise that he doesn't turn into static this time.

"Wait. Okay, it's Eren. You?"

"Levi."

"Oh, like the—"

"Like the jeans, yeah, think I haven't heard that one before?" You try the door, but just like you thought, it doesn't unlock. You remember you didn't even use the key last time, it just unlocked on its own. "Great. In any case, we're not missing out on much. When I got out, there was nothing out there. Literally. And then it just reset. So I don't know what else to do."

"What's downstairs?"

"More nothing. And trust me, I looked everywhere. There's another door, but it's all chained up."

"Really?" He grabs his head in frustration. "Agh! What the hell is going on? This is… this is nuts. It can't be real. Maybe… maybe I was in an accident and now I'm in a coma imagining all this."

You scoff. "I'm not some brat's fever dream."

"Uh… I don't think you'd know if you were. Ever watched _Vanilla Sky_?"

"No, and I can break your face if you want me to prove to you that I'm real."

Eren raises both hands in front of himself in a pacifying gesture. "No, it's okay. I'm not dreaming, you're real. So how do we get out of here?" 

You shrug. "Who knows. We should--"

"How about this window?" He spin-kicks the window a few times and you let him, it's his own fault for interrupting you. You are impressed by the kicks though. "Fuck, it's like kicking a wall."

"Yeah, the windows are unbreakable, tried it before. As I was saying, let's go back downstairs, at least there's more to look at."

He follows you silently to the front door, and you move aside so he can examine the chains. He pulls on them, but they don't budge. "Agh! Hey! Hey!" He starts yelling, looking around.

"What are you doing?"

"Maybe… what if there's someone listening in on us? Or watching? Maybe we're being filmed right now, and I'm trying to catch the attention of the damn pervert who put us here."

"That's… an interesting idea. Just enlighten me as to how they managed to remove two pretty vital parts from your body and you still kept on living. I've seen people with a strong will to live before, but that's pushing it, don't you think?"

He looks almost like he's about to start crying. "What am I supposed to do then?"

You sigh and lean on the wall, thinking about your musings earlier. "Maybe you should make peace with yourself, because I think we're in hell."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter every Monday.
> 
> Also, rating this fic as of now. It is E.
> 
> As always, any glaring errors or anything that doesn't make sense, let me know.

Eren seems outraged by your suggestion. "Listen here! It's not like I'm an angel or anything, but I don't think I've ever done something so extreme that would put me in hell!"

"Yeah? Who are you to judge? Maybe those seven deadly sins are enough, and some of those aren't easy to avoid sometimes."

"I… what about you? Are you hell material?"

_Definitely _, you think. Wrath and lust have been part of your life for a long time. "Maybe everyone just goes to hell after they die, and there's no heaven."__

__Eren pulls on his hair and grunts. "Whatever. I'm not very good with theological discussions. Let's just figure out why this is happening. If there's anything we can do to stop it."_ _

__"Well… I think it was supposed to be some sort of loop. It reset after one of us died. First time me, then you and now… now we're both alive. It's not gonna reset again."_ _

__"How can you be so sure?"_ _

__"I'm not, obviously. I'm stating what I know and what I think. No idea what else we can change." Maybe… maybe you should do it one more time. But with Eren going, maybe now that he's whole, he won't forget it. "What if you tried leaving one more time and see if you notice anything I might have missed?"_ _

__"Wh… are you serious? If what you're saying is right, that means I would have to kill you! I can't do that."_ _

__"It's nothing. I'll come back, probably."_ _

__"Probably? You're crazy. I'm not doing it."_ _

__"Listen, we have to make sure this is what's really happening. I've seen it once and I don't wanna see it again. You've seen it too, but you don't remember. Maybe this time you will. And maybe you'll catch something different. Something important."_ _

__"I… I get it, alright. The thing is, there's no way I would be able to kill someone. How can you even think that?"_ _

__You shrug, unwilling to elaborate. You could always try to hang yourself with that pipe in the bathroom. Maybe you could make a noose with your shirt? It's worked as a rope before._ _

__"You're thinking shit, aren't you? What if… what if you don't come back? What am I gonna do, huh? I don't wanna be here alone!"_ _

__"I came back before, and so did you. I'm sure it's fine."_ _

__"Why aren't you scared? Why doesn't this bother you? Don't tell me… don't tell me you killed yourself!"_ _

__"I don't think I did. Life might be meaningless, but there's no point in dying either."_ _

__Eren shakes his head incredulously. "Forget it. I'm not doing it, and I'm not letting you do it either."_ _

__He won't let you. You wonder why he thinks he has a say in what you do. He's a head taller than you, literally, but that's never meant shit to you. The only reason he overpowered you earlier was because he was probably on some sort of invincible state, to remain standing without his head and his heart. But you'll go with what he says for now. "Well, then I'm all out of ideas."_ _

__"Maybe we should look for clues or something."_ _

__"This isn't an escape room, kid. There are no clues. There is nothing."_ _

__"Oh yeah? What about this?"_ _

__You look at what Eren's pointing to. The sign on the door that leads to the chained door. You can't remember when either of you closed it again._ _

__"What about it? It says 'exit'."_ _

__"Correction. It says 'ex 1 up."_ _

__You look at the word. You've noticed it before but thought nothing of it. There are the letters e and x, the number 1 making up the i and an arrow pointing up posing as a t. "That doesn't mean anything, it's just a cutesy way of writing the word."_ _

__"But…"_ _

__"Feel free to fry your brains thinking on it, though."_ _

__It seems he's intent on doing just that, given the way he's just staring at the door, and he stands there for a while even. Then he groans, throwing his hands up. "I give up, can't come up with anything other than the exit is one floor up. And although true, that's just stupid."_ _

__"Then…"_ _

__"Still not killing you." He sighs and sits down by your feet. "Dying, though. How come I don't remember how that happened?"_ _

__"How much… what's the last thing you remember?"_ _

__"I'm not sure. Went home after work, I do remember taking a shower because I was super tired, and it felt really good, but other than that…"_ _

__"Did you have any plans for the night?"_ _

__He looks up at you raising his eyebrows. "Now that you mention it… I think I was gonna go to the new nightclub that opened last week. It was called, uh…"_ _

__"Decadance?"_ _

__His face turns a darker shade of grey, and you figure he's blushing. "Uh, yeah." He takes a hairband from his wrist and tie up in a bun all the hair that had been covering most of his face up until now. This is the moment you notice he's fucking gorgeous. You probably would have noticed sooner if you'd been paying more attention to him, but with all that messy hair, it just made you think he looked like a hobo._ _

__The discovery that Eren, with that face of his, intended to go to the same club you did interests you in a way that puts all the current weirdness in the back of you head for the moment, and you subtly slide down the wall, sitting beside him._ _

__"I think I went there too, you know. At least that's what I had planned."_ _

__Eren turns his head sharply to look at you again, and turns away just as quickly. "Y-you, uh… you know it's a… it's a…"_ _

__You almost leave him hanging. "A gay club, yeah I know." Where else am I going to pick up twinks? you don't add._ _

__Oh._ _

He _is_ your type… 

__And you know there's no point in dawdling with these things._ _

__You glance at his still greyer than usual face. "You're not a closet case, are you? Since you got nervous. Can you say the word 'gay'?"_ _

__"No, yeah, shut up! I was just being cautious. Actually, my mom's the one who told me I was gay."_ _

__You raise your eyebrows. "Care to share that story?"_ _

__"There's not much to it. This was 4 years ago. We were watching a movie, and later she would tell me I'd sigh every time the main character guy appeared, especially after he took off his shirt. She just turned to me and asked me: Eren, are you gay? And I just thought for a moment and was like: Yeah. And she was just: Ah, okay. And we kept watching the movie. My dad didn't say anything, but after that he was always talking about people at work who he thought were gay, and about celebrities coming out and stuff. I guess he wanted to show his support, but didn't really know how? He's a nice guy, though."_ _

__"I see." That's one thing you have in common. But you don't feel like sharing your story with him right about now. What you want is to go back to your previous thoughts. "About the club, I think I did go. And so did you. And you know what else? I think we met there and you were going to come home with me." Your boldness rarely fails you._ _

__He stares at you for a moment, and he's blushing again as the corners of his lips turn up. "Y'know, I can totally see that happening."_ _

__Fuck it._ _

__When he doesn't turn away from you after a few seconds, and is in fact staring at your lips, you put a hand on his face and bring him to you._ _

__The kiss feels good at first, but when his tongue invades your mouth, you pull back, and he's looking at you with the same somewhat shocked expression you're sure you're wearing. He has a hand over his mouth. "We kissed in the club. You tasted like beer, and I mentioned I didn't like beer, and--_ _

__"And I took your glass from your hand and downed it," you finish for him. "Still don't know what the hell it was you were drinking."_ _

__Eren smiles. "I don't know either. I just got it because it looked cool, all neon and blue. I think it was called Major Tom." You do remember the club being somewhat David Bowie themed. And you're pretty sure the neon blue was just an effect of the black lights, but you decide not to spoil his dreams. You wonder if you kiss him again you'll remember more._ _

__So you do. But no new revelations resurface. Not that you'll stop because of that._ _

__It doesn't disturb you that you talked for all of 10 minutes before you were on each other. This isn't the fastest you've hooked up with someone after just meeting them. There was one time when there hadn't been any words, just a couple of looks and the guy was sucking you off in the bathroom. You've actually gotten to know your partner pretty well this time around compared to previous ones._ _

__The fact that you were all but ready to kill him, or that he stabbed you to death earlier doesn't upset you either. If this is really hell, what does it matter? He's hot and he's into it. Also, you've kissed before, it seems. When you were alive. And you were going to bring him home anyway, so…_ _

__But no matter how much you try to justify it to yourself, there's something still bothering you. Eren looks younger than the men you usually bring back home, and they're usually in their early twenties. But if he was in the club, and drinking even, he has to be legal. Unless of course he had a fake I.D._ _

__Whether you're in hell or not, it's still going to bug you if you don't know. He's trying to climb on your lap, so that's a good time to break the kiss and ask._ _

__"Eren, how old are you?"_ _

__"I'm 22. Why, do I look older?"_ _

__"No, just… just making sure."_ _

__"How old are you?"_ _

__"How old do I look?"_ _

__"Um...25?"_ _

__You almost say he's right, but that might be pushing it too much."32. Not old enough to be your dad, so you can relax."_ _

__He laughs. "Well, you look pretty young. So uh, do you wanna talk more or…" He leaves the sentence in the air and raises his eyebrows, and you almost roll your eyes, but if he's talking like a teenager, at least you're glad you asked._ _

__You pull him to you once again, and he doesn't waste any time climbing on your lap now. His kiss is wild and passionate, and while you usually like to start off slow, you're not complaining. Especially when after a while he starts rubbing his ass against you and you notice how hard you are._ _

__With your hands on his back, you lay him down without breaking the kiss, but he stops to bite your neck, then your ear, where he pants for a moment. "You're so hot. I've been kinda dying to do this ever since I first saw you. But uh, it would have been a little difficult, considering my condition at the time."_ _

__You pull softly on his hair. "I do hope this thing is nicely attached now." There are no marks and no scars on his neck, it's like it never happened._ _

__He moans when you rub yourself against him, and when you start to unbutton his shirt, he smiles. His voice is a little more than a whisper now. "You're just gonna screw me on the floor?"_ _

__"Unfortunately I don't see any beds around." You actually look around. Hey, the wrench and the knife only appeared when they were supposed to be used right? Maybe… but no such luck, no beds materialized while you weren't looking._ _

__"Yeah, sorry I asked. Forgot for a moment where we were."_ _

__You don't think you could ever forget, what with everything being grey and lifeless. You want to ask him what does he think about the grey, but then you'd be talking, and Eren definitely isn't in the mood to talk._ _

__So you finish unbuttoning his shirt and he does the same to you before you start on his pants. He raises his eyebrows as he pushes it off your shoulders and stares at your chest and abs. "Damn, and I called you hot before even seeing all this. Are you a gym rat or something?"_ _

__"I like to stay in shape. You never know when you're gonna get jumped by some overconfident asshole with a death wish." Eren's well built too, but less so than you. Makes you think he might play some kind of sport. You run your fingers through his hairless chest, noticing there's no indication whatsoever there was a big gaping hole there before he put the heart back. Not even his shirt is damaged anymore. "You're not so bad yourself." Your hand touches his neck and you kiss him again before he can answer._ _

__After his pants are off, you suck on a finger, wishing you were the type to carry lube around with you. But since you usually bring your partners home with you, this was never one of your habits. You put a hand under one of his knees, gently pushing his leg towards his chest. "Sorry if--" When you look at his face, he's blushing more than before. "What is it?"_ _

__"Oh, uh… I'm used to doing this in a way darker room. It's kinda weird when you can see everything like that."_ _

__You move closer to him and kiss his neck. "You're beautiful and you have nothing to be embarrassed of. But if you don't want me to, then I won't look."_ _

__Eren smiles sweetly. "Damn. Hot, smooth and sensible. You're the real deal, aren't you." He passes his arms around your neck and kisses you, while your hand finds its way between his legs._ _

__You finger him slowly for a while, until he starts moaning on your mouth, then you get another finger in, still going slow. While Eren is clearly experienced, you still don't want to push your luck, especially without lube._ _

__Your fingers reach in deeper, and he moans louder. You continue on that angle until he interrupts you._ _

__"Enough, put it in now."_ _

__He's bashful about nudity, but bold enough to say what he wants. You like it. So you comply, entering him slowly. He grunts, but doesn't tell you to stop, so you don't._ _

__It feels really, really good, probably because you're not used to having sex without a condom. The only time you've done without was your first time, and that's the main reason you still visit the clinic every now and then. One time was enough to make you paranoid._ _

__Now… now what does it matter?_ _

__What matters is that Eren's tight and hot and delicious, and when he tells you to move, you don't waste a moment._ _

You rock into him, and he yells when you get the right angle. You kiss him, all tongue and saliva, and he whispers _'more'_ into your ear, pulling on your hair, his fingers brushing your undercut make you shiver. So you give him more, going slightly harder and he scratches your back almost viciously. After a while you move a hand to touch his dick, but he tells you not to. 

__"Levi… I want this to last."_ _

__"We can just go again afterwards, you know, if you give me some time."_ _

__"Just… just a little more."_ _

__So you hold off, you can't do it for much longer but you do._ _

__You plunge into him, tearing louder and louder screams from him with every thrust, and when you touch him again, he doesn't argue._ _

__His come dribbles from your hand, hot and sticky, and you pull out because you're on the edge._ _

__"No, don't!" He looks surprised by his own outburst, but doesn't go back on it._ _

__You were thinking about clean up, and considering you haven't seen any toilet paper in the bathrooms, maybe you really should just come inside him like he wants and let him flush it afterwards. If the flush works._ _

__Unsexy thoughts like these aren't really welcome when you're about to come. So you enter him again, easily now, and with a few more thrusts, you're not in hell anymore._ _

__You rest your head on his shoulder as your breathing goes back to normal. Eren's come is drying on your hand and you think again about how this place doesn't have tissues or running water. You pat around trying to find any of your clothes because you really want to rub your hand in it, but when you finally grasp your shirt, your hand is as clean as it is most of the time._ _

__You wonder if you subconsciously wiped it elsewhere. Then you look at Eren, obviously enjoying the afterglow, grinning lazily on the floor with an arm over his eyes._ _

__"Excuse me."_ _

__"Wha--"_ _

__"I'm sorry, I really am. I just need to see something real quick."_ _

__You pull out and take hold of his legs, unceremoniously opening them and glaring at his hole._ _

__It's dry and clean and proper._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it
> 
> it magicum
> 
> tumblr - yozokai.tumblr.com
> 
> (btw sorry if this seemed too fast to get into the smut but this isn't gonna be a long story anyway and i suck at sexual tension so i just figured eh lets just get it over with i'll write the slowest burn of your lives next time)


	4. Chapter 4

Well, all the better, you suppose. You don't know how long you'll be in here or how many times you'll have to clean yourselves with an article of clothing, and if it's up to you, it's going to be a lot. So if it's gone just like that, you have nothing to feel sorry for.

With Eren's feet on your lap, you explain to him why you had to do what you did. He seems happy about it for a moment, and then confused.

"So if I suck you off, then-- no, wait! What are we gonna eat? Oh my god, there's no food here!"

"I don't think we're gonna need food. We're dead, remember?"

"Yeah, but… what if--"

"Eren. Don't worry about it." He sits up and you hand him his clothes while you dress yourself. "I don't think we're gonna re-die. At least not from hunger."

"...Yeah, okay."

"Why do you think it's all grey, though? Where in common depictions of hell have you ever seen it described as grey?"

Eren looks at you as if you've just spoken an alien language at him. "What?"

You speak slowly. "Why is it grey? The house. You. Me. Everything."

He frowns. "I… I'm not sure what you mean. The walls look blue to me. And the counters are that vomity green that's super disgusting. And the floor is uh, reddish. You don't look like you see much of the sun, but you're just pale like a The Cure fan, not grey."

__You're at a loss for words, but only for a moment. "But… all I see is grey. Why the fuck?"_ _

__"I'm sorry. I don't know. It all looks normal to me."_ _

__"Shit." What does it mean? Does it mean anything? You don't have any answers._ _

__You think about what you were discussing before you decided to follow your dick instead of your head._ _

__"So that club… do you think it had something to do with this? Because it was the last place both of us remember."_ _

__"I don't know. Probably. Who's to say it wasn't built on top of a hellmouth or something."_ _

__"A what now?"_ _

__"A… like, a portal to hell."_ _

__"I'm so eager to say 'bullshit', but I can't, can I? Not with the situation we're currently in."_ _

__"Maybe it was a satanic club and everyone in there were sacrifices."_ _

__"So where's everyone else?"_ _

__Eren sighs. "I don't know." He looks around. "If this is really hell, I was kinda hoping to see David Bowie, you know. He was the main reason I went to that club actually."_ _

__You look around too, imagining what it would be like if David Bowie suddenly appeared._ _

__"He's probably just back at his home planet."_ _

__Eren chuckles. "Yeah. God, he was sexy."_ _

__And while you do agree, you don't comment on it. When the silence elongates for too long, Eren can't take it._ _

__"So, what do you do?"_ _

__Yeah, what do you do?_ _

__"Unemployed currently. You?"_ _

__"Oh, I… uh… at the moment I work at an office. Worked? I don't know." Eren's face becomes greyer again, and he turns his whole body away._ _

__You cross your arms, raising an eyebrow at him. "What, you're an intern sleeping your way to the top?"_ _

__"Of course not! I'm… I'm just a secretary, okay. Well, less than a secretary to tell you the truth. I bring coffee, I clean up coffee off the floor. I memorize how every single bastard in that building take their godamn coffee."_ _

__"Oh, I see. Been there, done that. Though I gotta say, my term lasted for all of a week before I photocopied my ass and sent it to the whole building. Still wish I had stayed to see their reaction."_ _

__Eren laughs, loud and short, and you turn to see him. He really does look beautiful, grey or not. Then his face tenses. "Hey, so I just thought of something. What if we fall asleep and the thing resets again?"_ _

__You think for a moment. "I'll probably remember it, since I did the first two times. But I really don't think that's gonna happen; I don't even know if we can sleep."_ _

__"But--"_ _

"If the whole thing resets and I still remember…" You almost say, _I'll get us here again_ , but that sounds kind of intimate to you. "I'll bring you up to speed." Eren just smiles brightly and nods as if he puts all the trust in the world in you. Your heart, which you don't even know why it's still beating, fucking soars. 

____You've never experienced much love in your life. Your sex life consisted mostly of one night stands, many one night stands that always ended up leaving you feeling even more lonely and miserable when it was over. But you just couldn't find it in yourself to stop._ _ _ _

____...Are you falling in love now?_ _ _ _

____Of course not. You've just met him. You're falling in lust, that makes more sense._ _ _ _

____With Eren… you'll grow out of it at any moment, just like it always happens._ _ _ _

____Any day now._ _ _ _

____You have no way of telling time, but you know days have passed. And you still have incredibly passionate sex with him every day. Your lust doesn't decrease._ _ _ _

____You hear what he has to say, you're interested in his words, you like him even when you're not having sex._ _ _ _

____Eren is so… so huggable. You snuggle up to him and fall asleep instantly every night. He's homely and welcoming. You want to dive into those arms and fall asleep and never wake up again._ _ _ _

____No, that's not right. You want to wake up and say hello to him every morning. Because mornings are passing, and afternoons and nights, and you don't know how many of them. Your phone, much like yourself, has been dead for a long time now, and outside it's always that same dull white. But after every time you have sex, you fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up snuggling, and kind of happy despite the situation you're in. It's not something you're used to, but you decide you like it. It sucks being here, but_ _ _ _

____But Eren's here too, so it sucks less._ _ _ _

____Your life was so empty before, you didn't see the point of anything. Then in death you meet Eren and turn into the softest son of a bitch you know. It could be that you just threw yourself head first into this, given you didn't have any other choice, but you feel good about it. You wonder how things would have turned out hadn't you died. Would Eren have been just another one night stand? You have a feeling that he wouldn't. Or so you like to think._ _ _ _

____You don't know how long it's been since you ended up here when you profess your love for him. His reaction isn't exactly what you were expecting._ _ _ _

____He cries._ _ _ _

____He's still sitting on you, but his hips have stopped moving. You have to fix this._ _ _ _

____"Hey, no. I'm sorry. Heat of the moment shit--"_ _ _ _

____"Levi." He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes. "That's… that's not how I wanted it. I wanted to be out of here to tell you that I love you too, holy shit, I love you so much. I wish you… I wish you could meet my friends, they'd have a kick out of your sense of humor." That statement intrigues you, as you can't remember ever telling him a single joke. "And I think you'd like them too. I wish we could go on a date, dinner and a movie, the whole cliché. This is… too unfair. What did we do to deserve this? To be so isolated from everything, everyone else?"_ _ _ _

____You hug him tight, going soft inside him, but it doesn't matter. "You know, normally I'd be the last person to tell you to conform. Eren, you've told me so many stories about how you fight for what you want, and honestly, you're stronger than me in that regard. I mean, I'll fight too, but if given a good reason, I'll stop. But… do you see any other option? I'm not telling you to shut up and take it. Vent all you want, I'm here for you. I'll agree with every word you say. But we're stuck in this shithole, and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm sorry. If any of this is my fault, I'm so very sorry." You hold his face with both hands, and this time, you're the one that looks like you're about to cry. "I'm so, so sorry, Eren."_ _ _ _

____He gapes at you as if in shock, then gets up, pulls his pants back up and starts yelling. "Hey! Hey answer me!"_ _ _ _

____He's tried this before and it didn't work. But you just let him do it again._ _ _ _

____"Hey asshole! Fucking answer me! Don't you dare do this to us! Where are you, huh? Fucking coward! Come here right the fuck now and face me! What are you trying to prove? If you want to punish us, come here and do it to our faces you goddamn pussy!"_ _ _ _

____You just watch him. He looks so beautiful like that. Fighting for what he believes. You don't believe it. You don't believe anyone will ever reply to any of you or that you'll ever get out of here. So you just watch him and hope he'll achieve whatever he's trying to achieve._ _ _ _

____"Just…" Eren's voice falters, and in the next moment you're jumping up to hold him as he falls into your arms. "Just don't leave us here forever. Please. Anything but that."_ _ _ _

____The air suddenly feels electrified._ _ _ _

____You look at each other expectantly, hearing a faint hum that seems to be coming from all around you. It feels like it has always been there and only now you're noticing it. It sounds… familiar somehow._ _ _ _

____But you wait and wait, and nothing happens. The humming noise eventually grows quiet, although it feels more like you get so used to it, you stop paying attention to it._ _ _ _

____You have no idea how many days pass after that, but you know Eren's favorite movies, bands and TV shows, and he knows your favorite brands of cleaning products and your favorite meals to cook. He doesn't seem to find you as boring as you know you are, and you're glad for that._ _ _ _

____"I did go to a Guns n' Roses concert once, you know," you tell him one day._ _ _ _

____"Really? Is that the kind of music you like?" Eren's clearly not impressed._ _ _ _

____"No, can't say it is. Maybe one or two songs. I just wanted to see Axl Rose in his underwear up close."_ _ _ _

____"Geez, really? How long ago was that, because nowadays he isn't exactly looking all that hot, is he?"_ _ _ _

____"2002." You only remember because of the millions of tour posters adorning the city that year._ _ _ _

____"In 2002 you weren't old enough to go to a concert."_ _ _ _

____You look at him as if he's just kicked you in the face. "You're awful good at math, aren't you. Anyway, by then he was already getting fat and not doing the naked bit anymore. It was still fun, though." You don't see the point in telling Eren that you went with the local GNR cover band and hooked up with the singer on the way there and back. And the singer was hotter than Axl Rose ever was._ _ _ _

____And you don't see the point in telling Eren about your promiscuous past. You're with him now, and you love him, and if you were alive you know you'd never sleep around again._ _ _ _

____You know he loves you too, and your past doesn't define your present. He'd understand._ _ _ _

____You'll tell him someday._ _ _ _

____"I went to a Katy Perry concert once," he confides you. And he looks pretty smugly at you because he knows he's won, Katy Perry's better than Guns n' Roses any day. "Anyway, uh, during "I Kissed a Girl" this girl beside me was making eyes at me, so I kissed her." He laughs. "I didn't really like it, though." He looks at you seriously. "Y'know, 'cause the lyrics go--"_ _ _ _

____You sing the entire song to him while he gawks at you. "How…"_ _ _ _

____You just shrug. "I listen to the radio."_ _ _ _

____Eren climbs on your lap and passes his arms around your neck. "I never imagined how sexy this song would be sung by a guy. Or maybe it's just because it's you. Also, holy shit your voice. Like, wow. I really think you should sing more."_ _ _ _

____You look in his eyes and start singing the chorus to "Firework", and as soon as you go "ah ah ah" he pulls on your hair and kisses you almost violently._ _ _ _

____"You know, we should talk fetishes sometime," he says with his lips still glued to yours. "'Cause you singing teenpop is my newest one."_ _ _ _

____You think about telling him he's your fetish, because everything he does turns you on. But then you think it sounds weird, so you just keep it to yourself._ _ _ _

____You nibble on his lower lip. "Tell me more then, let's see what we can do with what we have." Which is, yourselves._ _ _ _

____Eren looks up in thought. "Well, I--"_ _ _ _

____Everything around you vanishes._ _ _ _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just Eren's point of view, not really an update, and it's super short. Sorry. But with second person pov, it's always kinda hard to figure out what the other person is thinking, isn't it?

_Eren_

Whenever you wake up in his arms, this immutable eternity seems easier to accept. Because all you have is each other, it's important. The way you feel about each other is important.

You remember how tense you were in the beginning, unsure of what to expect from the man with the intense grey eyes. Was he violent? Crazy? What if… okay, you have never had the displeasure of dealing with a homophobe, but some of your friends have, and you got super angry just hearing them talking about it.

But then… then Levi made a pass at you, and that was one concern less on your list.

You haven't exactly made peace with the fact that you're dead, and you don't think you ever will, but you know there's nothing you can do about it. You tried. You screamed and you screamed, but nothing changed. So all you have left to do is be with Levi. Talk, have sex, tell stories about your life. 

Levi doesn't like talking about himself much, so he's always asking you to talk. Which you don't mind, but you really wish to know more about him. You know there's a lot he's not telling you, but then again, you're the same. Maybe some things are better left unsaid. Or, who knows, if you really end up spending eternity in here, you'll probably learn every single detail of each other's lives, for better or worse.

You watch him sleep, you always watch him sleep. You don't suppose you actually need sleep, but you can do it, and it's one thing more on the very meagre list of activities at your disposal, so you're glad for it.

So you watch him, because you can never get enough of his face. He's… stunning, to put it mildly. Not only those daunting steely eyes, which sometimes you swear are blue, but the slightly upturned nose, his lips, thin but still kind of plump, his strong jawline and high cheekbones, not to mention that body, holy shit what is that body. His arms are the sexiest arms you've ever seen, and his--

You're getting a boner.

"Aah, shit."

You consider waking him up, but decide not to. The dark circles under his eyes are an indication of how little he probably used to sleep. And they never vanish, nothing about either of your appearances ever changes. This was something you noticed early on about this place. When what seemed like days passed and neither of you needed to shave, it became pretty obvious. So those insomniac bags will always be a part of him, for as long as you're here. But you still like to let him sleep.

You wonder… what would have happened if you hadn't… if you had gone to his place with him.

Would you have hit it off? Or would he send you packing after that one night? While he was the first one to express feelings for you, things would probably be different if you weren't the only two people in the world.

You think you'd at least try to make it work. 

He wakes up and rolls his eyes when he spots the tent in your pants. Your face burns, and you tell him you can't help it, his mere scent makes you go crazy. Then he's got that look in his eyes, smouldering, just as hot as his lips when he kisses you. His tongue dances around yours, and you swallow a whimper. No matter how many times you do this, Levi always manages to overwhelm you.

He unbuttons your shirt, making you wonder for the millionth time why you don't just go naked all the time. You used to be shy, but after having sex with him so many times in such a brightly lit room, you kind of don't care anymore. Especially with him telling you you're beautiful all the time.

His tongue's on your chest, licking and biting, and this time you can't fight back a throaty noise. Then you notice he still has his clothes on, and you go on about changing this. It feels so good when his naked chest touches yours, and you run your fingers over the shaved part of his hair while he sucks on your neck. You're about to open his pants when he grabs your wrist.

"Eren. Let me take care of you for once."

You stare at him for a couple of seconds and nod, absolutely sure your voice will break if you attempt to speak.

He pulls your pants down, and you watch his face, because nothing's better to kill your bashfulness than the way he looks at you. His touches are featherlight, slowly descending from your neck and chest, his nails slightly raking over your stomach, until he gets to your erection.

"Keep your eyes on me, Eren."

You gulp and watch, as he takes you in his hand and brings you to his mouth, only his tongue coming out to taste you. His eyes are locked on yours as his tongue rolls around your length, hot and sensual and he sucks the tip into his mouth. You moan loudly. He takes all of you in, and you wonder if he's just flawless at everything he does.

His fingers come into play, and you spread your legs, not giving a shit about being shy. You absolutely love how fucking long his fingers are. He's got both your sweetspots, one under his fingers, one on his tongue, and you think you might just go crazy over how good this feels.

"Shit fuck holy ahhh Levi fuck shit…" You never know what you're saying when you're drowning in pleasure.

You come hard, and he milks it until you can't move anymore, then he comes up and kisses you. You suck on his tongue, all lazy and spent, humming and moaning. Your hands roam his body, but he disentangles himself from you.

"Keep watching."

He opens his pants and pulls himself out, stroking fast and throwing his head back with a loud sigh and you drink it all in. He bites his lips and you unawarely do the same, and when he starts fondling his balls, you bite so hard you start bleeding, but you don't even notice. The blood just vanishes after a moment, unnoticed. He comes all over his chest, and you're on him the next second, licking him clean.

If you could choose… stay here with him forever, or leave this place and never hear from him again. 

Which? Which would you choose?

Your heart hurts when you start to think about this, and you brush it off, no use thinking stupid shit anyway.

The way you feel is good, the way he feels is good, and you hope that doesn't change either. You know nothing will ever change.

Until it does.


	6. Chapter 6

Eren holds tightly onto you, and you do the same. Neither of you has any idea of what to expect. 

Is this it? Are you going to disappear forever? Or are you--

"Levi Ackerman. Eren Jäger." A monotone voice booms all around you.

Eren whispers in your ear. "What is this?" You just shake your head. The owner of the voice clears their throat and calls your names again. "Should we answer?"

You admit to yourself that you're kind of terrified, but your voice doesn't betray you. "We're here. What do you want?"

"Ah, excellent. I was not able to properly locate you without hearing you. Very well, we are going process you now. Levi Ackerman, 36, traffic collision. Eren Jäger, 18, traffic collision." They're still talking but the only thing you hear is your stomach dropping after being outed like that.

Plus, did you hear right? Eren is eight-fucking-teen? You wonder how you couldn't tell he was lying, since you're usually pretty good at it.

Maybe you didn't want to see it. Maybe it wouldn't matter anyway because you wanted him so much. Maybe even if he were younger--

You brush the disturbing thought away. What good will it do thinking about it now? But you still have to say something. "You told me you were 22!"

"Yeah? You told me you were 32! Although I don't see why you lied. Makes no difference to me."

That comment about not being old enough to be his dad bites you hard in the ass.

"When you're really 22, I'll be 40!"

"Oh, who's good at math now?"

"Eren--"

"EXCUSE ME BUT I THINK YOU HAVE MORE PRESSING MATTERS THAN YOUR BLOODY AGES TO WORRY ABOUT." You both silence at the voice's explosion. "As I was saying--"

"Uh, what do you mean by processing, though?" You try to signal Eren to shut up, but he ignores you.

"You will be decompressed and reassigned as soon as you go through the door, there is no need for questions."

You see a door behind you, well, it's more of a portal, but you can't stay quiet anymore. "Really, now? You say shit like that and expect us not to question it? You think we're a couple of puppets then? We're not gonna do dick until you explain yourself." Eren tries to touch the door, but you pull him back, shaking your head.

The voice lets out a sigh so long, it starts to annoy you after some time. "Explanation. I do not comprehend you people who demand explanation. It is because of you that this takes so long. If you just went through the door like you are supposed to--"

"We're not sheeple!"

"Eren, shut up."

The voice doesn't seem to mind the interruption. "You are deceased, and you are not going to remember in any case. What difference does it make?"

You can barely remember being afraid of this voice, because now you just want to kick its ass. "Listen you enormous douche. You talk or we'll just ignore your precious door. We may not have the house anymore, but I'd rather stay here in this nothing than walk through a floating rectangle that leads to fuck knows where."

They sigh again, slightly shorter than before. "Fine, fine, you win. Are you happy?"

"Fuck you."

"From the beginning then, shall we? You expired in a traffic collision. You expire together, you limbo together. And limbo can be anything, literally, we have millions of them to choose from. A house, you said? Surely not Ash Tree Lane? I thought we were not using that anymore. Oh, no, I see which one it is. The choosing. It has always been choices with you, Levi Ackerman. And yours is an old soul, is it not? You have been doing this dance from the beginning. You are wising up. You have broken the loop on your own, did you? You remembered and you broke it. We might have to find something more complex for you next time. How do you feel about chasing a tower?"

"...What…" You don't even know on what to comment. "Why… why the loop?"

"As I have mentioned, people ask for explanations, and explanations take long. Do you have any idea how many people expire every day? It is for your own sake, really. So you will not be bored to death. Oh, I did a funny. You were not supposed to remember previous iterations as soon as the loop reset. Congratulations, you have glitched the system." You took a third option, is all. You had to choose which, and you chose both. "Although… you two did find ways to keep entertained, did you not?"

"Pervert!" You don't chide Eren this time.

"You talked and you sung and you got to know each other well. Was there anything else, Eren Jäger?"

"Er, never mind."

"There is no shame in intercourse, either, you know." Eren is dark grey from head to toe.

You cross your arms, looking at a direction you imagine the voice is coming from. "You have fun with this too, don't you?"

"We do like it, yes, when we have the time to watch. We do not want to die of boredom either, Levi Ackerman."

"Oh? So you can die too?"

"Your notion that I have to answer each and every one of your questions is a misconception. Are you ready to go now?"

"No." You think about what else you can ask. "Uh… how long have we been here?"

"One year. One month. One week. One day. One hour. One of these, or maybe all of them."

"You're a fucking troll, aren't you. What's… what's beyond the door? What happens to us? I'll never move from this spot if you don't answer this one."

A noise like a loud wind surrounds you. "We strip you of everything you are and eat you." The voice is completely different now, low and menacing. "Then, you are again, and again you will perish. Then you will get reassigned, a new world and a new life."

"Why…" Eren holds your hand, and it's not only his voice that's trembling. "Why would you do that?"

"Because you are food. You are our eternal food."

Just then, you're reminded of something else. Another world? Another loop? You don't know. As soon as the thought enters your head, it vanishes again, and you can't remember what it was.

Eren looks at the door and then at you. You both shake your heads. "What happens if we don't go through?"

"You stay. The door will come back when you decide to go through. And you will decide. No one stays forever."

You pass an arm around Eren's waist, and you both start to take distance from the door. "We'll stay, then. I don't feel like disappearing just yet."

"Yeah, me neither."

"Take your time, Levi Ackerman. Eren Jäger. We are nothing if not patient." As soon as the voice finishes, the white around you starts to fade, and the familiar stupid grey house comes back into existence. The air doesn't feel oppressive anymore, and you know it's just the two of you again. You notice that the chained door occupies the same space that the portal did.

Eren falls to his knees, his hands still touching you as he goes. "Holy shit. Was that God?"

"I think it was _a_ god. Or at least they seemed to think they were."

"Levi… do you think we've done it before? Did we go through that door in other times?"

You sit beside him and take his hand again. "Yeah, I think so, Eren. They said it's a loop, right? So we've been dying and being reborn since the beginning of the world. Or worlds, if we're to believe them. We'll probably do it again."

Eren seems shocked to hear you saying that. "Really? Do you wanna go through it?"

"Fuck, no. But I mean, we're only human, Eren. We're gonna get tired of this eventually, don't you think?"

"No, I don't! I… I don't wanna forget you, Levi! I…" He stops, and his eyes widen while his hands reach for your face. "Levi. Promise me you won't go through without me. Please. If there comes a day when you get tired of me, just tell me and we'll leave, but we'll leave together."

You're offended. Does he think that little of you? "Holy shit, Eren. I'd never do something like this. Of fucking course we'll leave together." You run a hand through his hair. "And you misunderstood me. I meant tired of all this shit, not tired of you. I do hope us leaving together means we'll get to meet each other again in the next life, next world, whatever."

You feel like a hypocrite. Because you have the exact same fear about him.


	7. Chapter 7

"You're 18 years old, though."

Eren is frowning at you. "Y'know, I've never had someone telling me my age and making it sound like I have leprosy or something. I'm still legal, you know."

"Yeah, but… I'm twice your age." You're having this discussion as if it was going to have some sort of repercussion, never mind you're both dead and in limbo, apparently.

He throws his arms up. "So. Fucking. What? You think the cultural shock of our different generations is gonna split us up or something? You listen to Katy Perry and I like bands from the 70s."

"You like ABBA."

"Because they're awesome!"

"You've watched Mamma Mia a million times, didn't you."

"Levi…" Eren sighs, taking both of your hands on his. "I'm an adult with a job and my own place. I've dated and had sex with other guys, so it's not like you've taken my innocence away or something. It wasn't a problem before you knew. Can't you just forget about it?"

"Do you… do you really have your own place? Y'know, without your parents?"

"Well, okay, I know I've said I live on my own, but you know that friend I talk to you about all the time that you've accused me of being in love with? Which I've already told you he's asexual and aromantic; I couldn't have anything with him even if I wanted to. Which I don't. I do like that you're jealous, though. So yeah, he's my roommate actually, we share a small apartment."

"I don't… Just why… why did you say you were 22?"

"Geez, because I didn't want you to see me as some fucking bratty kid! Just like I'm sure you didn't want me to see you as an old man, since you lied too."

He's got you there. Then

 _Then_ it hits you.

What you should have focused on instead of what year Eren was born. How the thing said you died. Both of you. Together.

"I… I killed us." You turn your back to him immediately as you say this because you don't want him to see whatever it is your face seems to be doing right now.

"...What?"

"This… this whole thing… this is all my fault. I got us killed in a car crash. I know I… I never drink much if I'm driving but… something must have happened that night." Now Eren will want to forget you. Now he'll go through the door, and he's not going to want you going with him.

Eren's arms encircle you tightly. "Oh, shut up. I'm sure it was an accident. You've nothing to feel guilty about."

Really? Easy like that? "Eren… I'll understand if you--"

"No. Shut up. I mean it. Even if you crashed the car, which might not even be the case, you didn't do it on purpose, did you? I mean, we were probably on our way to your house to have some great kinky sex, so why would you? Just… just… don't even think about it. Alright? I'm not mad. I don't care. Meeting you was one of the best things that's ever happened in my life, and I don't regret it." He breathes deeply a few times, still holding you tight. "If I… If I knew I was gonna die after meeting you, I'd still do it. I love you, and that's all that matters."

"...Even if all we can do is stay in this shithole?"

He turns you around in his arms and looks at you. "Yeah. I mean, I'd love to show you off to everyone I know, because I've never dated anyone as cool and hot as you." He stops and chuckles a bit to himself. "I'd love for you to meet everyone else I care about, and for them to see how awesome you are. How happy you make me. They'd love you too. They'd love you so much."

"I don't think your parents would be all that excited to know your boyfriend's almost 40."

Eren goes dark grey. Probably because it's the first time you've used the B word. "Then… then they'd be hypocrites, considering my dad's 20 years older than my mom. Levi, please… please. Both these things… just forget about them. I don't care about your age, and I don't care if you really got us killed. These are two things we can't do anything about. Let's just enjoy what we have here, for as long as we can."

You bury your face on his neck and take a deep breath. "I've never known anyone like you either, you know? You're wild, and beautiful, and brave, and fun. And I love you so much." You come out of hiding and caress his face with the back of your fingers. "I've never loved anyone like this. That's why I didn't want you to waste your time with me when you could do so much better." Were you alive.

"Agh!" Eren scowls. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm crazy about you! Why do you think so lowly of yourself?"

"Eren, there's… there's so much I haven't told you yet. If I told you…"

"Let me guess. You eat babies for breakfast, your job is to kick puppies for 8 hours straight. You have a harem of concubines that grant every one of your dirty wishes."

Well, that's close enough, you figure. "Would it bother you if I did? Have a harem, that is?"

He widens his eyes at you. "Do you?"

You scoff. "Of course not. But if you put together everyone I've ever slept with, you might get one."

"Ah." Eren sits on the ground and pulls you with him. His smile warms up your cold, lonely heart, and you're pretty sure you're just making a fool out of yourself in front of him. "No. It doesn't bother me how many people you've slept with. Even if the number reaches 3 digits--"

"It doesn't."

"I don't care. You're mine now and that's all that matters. Oh, I've slept with 6 guys before you, by the way. Since we're telling."

"I've… lost count at some point. But it's nowhere near a hundred."

"Alright, then." He's still smiling as he touches your face. "Anything else you wanna talk about?"

You decide that's a nice place to cut it, better to just leave the actual serious stuff for later. "...I think that's enough for now. Now,there's just one thing I'm gonna say."

"What is it?"

"Ask me anything. Anything you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Holy… really? Wow. I've never had this kind of power over anyone before. I mean… do you have any idea how evil I can be?" He smiles something he might think it's a wicked smile, but it's just adorable. 

You raise an eyebrow at him. "What, with the eating puppies and kicking babies thing?"

"That's… ew. No. Let me think!" He makes a pondering face with his fingers under his chin. "Oh, I got it. Y'know, I don't think I've ever seen you smile."

You glare at him. "That's what you're gonna ask me?"

"Hmm maybe…"

Did you really never smile? Eren makes you so happy, but then again, you're used to showing happiness with your eyes only. As with every other emotion.

You chuckle instead. "What a fucking grouch you're dating. Holy shit. Ask something else, this doesn't count."

Eren looks completely bedazzled as he pulls you over him and lies down. "Just take me in your arms and make love to me. There's nothing else I want."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of rape, not main characters

You've lied to Eren once again. Because you don't think you can grant this next wish of his.

He wants to play make-believe.

Not just role-play. Make-believe. Like you're in Peter Pan or something.

"Eren… I'd feel real silly."

Eren makes a pleading face. "But… it's just me here, and you know I'd never laugh at you. C'mon! I want to go on a date, and eat out and stuff."

You wonder how serious he is about this. "I don't think I have that big of an imagination, you know." Have you mentioned you're a grouch?

He bats his long eyelashes at you. "I'll do anything you want…"

You grab his waist with both hands and pull him to you. "Wouldn't you anyway?"

Eren curses under his breath as he automatically responds to your move, rubbing himself against you. He visibly forces himself to pull away.

"I… I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

You just glare at him. "Really?"

"Really."

"I'm sorry, Eren."

He just stalks upstairs without another word, and you feel like a pile of shit for the rest of the day.

You have no idea how much time passes until you see him again. He's in room 2, the one you've first found him, sitting under the window with a hand in front of his face.

"What are you doing?"

He raises his other hand and makes a swiping motion. "Reading."

You cross your arms. "Yeah? What are you reading?"

"'The Catcher in the Rye'. Heard it's good."

"It is. Would you read some of it for me?" Sometimes it's like you can't help being an asshole.

Eren raises his eyes from his hands and glares at you for a split second. " _I felt like jumping out the window. I probably would have, if I knew someone would cover me up as soon as I landed. I didn't want a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory._ "

You can hear your jaw hitting the floor.

"How--" But it hits you in the next moment. "You've read it before."

Eren rolls his eyes. "No, I just thought the book into existence."

"Little shit. You got me fooled for a second." His ability to just quote a random passage of the book is still impressive.

Eren makes the notions of closing a book and putting it on the ground, because he's the most committed person you've ever seen. "Why are you being such an ass?"

"Because…" You walk to him. "I come here to invite you to my favorite restaurant, and you prefer to sit there and read, how do you want me to feel?"

His eyes light up, and he stands up in a second. "Why didn't you just say so? Can you wait outside for me? I gotta change real quick."

"Sure." You leave the room and close the door. You have no idea how this is going to go. A few seconds later, Eren opens the door again, still wearing the same clothes, obviously, but you think that's an easy way to start. "You look… you look nice. Is this new?"

"Yeah, just got it last week. Thanks. You look nice too, I told you this green shirt would go well with those pants."

You don't have a single green shirt in your wardrobe. Or you didn't, now you do. "You know more about this stuff than I do, so I figured I would trust you."

"Are we taking your car?"

"No, it's just a block away." You might be okay with pretending to eat imaginary food, you've played with a young kid before after all, even if a long time ago, but pretending to sit in a car and drive is way too much for you.

Eren makes small talk during the walk, and when you get to your destination, the kitchen, to your relief, when you pull up a chair for him, he sits on the floor. You were really dreading the moment where he would sit in the air and you'd have to do the same.

You hand him a menu. "Choose whatever you want."

He peruses the menu, then looks back at you. "But everything is so expensive…"

It's almost like he knows the place you're pretending this is. "Oh please, I come here all the time. If I couldn't afford it, we'd be sitting at the food court in the mall."

"I… I think I'll have a soup, then." He hands you the menu, but you push it back to him. 

"As an appetizer. Choose the main course too."

He checks out the menu again, and sighs in frustration. "I'll have the same as you."

You raise an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You ever eaten anything that's still alive?"

Eren actually winces. "That's what you're having?"

You snort. "No, just fucking with you." You flag a waiter and order. In Japanese.

You knew Eren would be gawking at you, but you don't understand the reason for the blush in his face as well. "How come you never told me you speak Japanese? That's important to me, I watch anime!"

You shrug. "It just never came up, I guess. I don't, really. Just spent a couple of years in Tokyo and learned a few things."

"Oh, you're telling me more about this."

This is a good time as any, you suppose. And you were setting up for it, anyway. Chopsticks being easier to use than a fork and a knife weren't the only reason you decided to take Eren to a Japanese restaurant.

"I haven't told you about my job yet."

"You told me you were unemployed."

"Well… I didn't know you back then. And this is not something I tell people. Have you ever watched a movie where someone says, 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you'?" The waiter arrives with your order, and you sip on your sake, watching Eren. At first it seems like he wants to laugh, until he realizes you were being serious. "But I'd say that's a moot point for us. Do you know what a cleaner does, Eren?"

"...Like… a janitor?"

"Yes. But no." Eren chuckles now. "To put it simply, I fix other people's mistakes. Do you wanna ask me to put it not so simply?"

"I…" He notices you're eating and starts doing the same, while nodding quickly.

You take a deep breath. "I clean up murder scenes and get rid of the evidence. I make bodies disappear. Sometimes I even hand out bribes and threats. Things like that." You're still watching Eren, but his face is a closed book. "I have relatives in Japan. A sister. She's your age, you know. You'd probably like each other. She was raped when she was 14, and I disposed of the person who did it myself. The guy was huge, unlike most Japanese people. Almost twice my size. Then again, I'm not exactly the tallest person in the world, am I. I followed him to a deserted alleyway and beat him up until he was on the floor. Then I stomped on his head until it turned to mush under my shoes. Then I just stayed with her for a while. And that's how I learned Japanese."

You've just admitted to having killed someone, and Eren's face still doesn't tell you anything.

"Your sister… was she… was she okay?"

"Not for a while. She wanted to get an abortion, but knowing her like I do, 14 years old or not, I knew she'd regret it. Besides, she was too far into the pregnancy for it to be safe. I ended up having to learn how to change diapers though, but I don't regret it either. Her mother had been in the hospital when the baby was born, so it fell on the both of us to learn all that shit on our own. But she was fine when I left. Working at a cat cafe. My sister, not her mother."

" _Her_ mother?"

"We only have the same father. My mother died when I was 5, and a bunch of her friends from the strip-club she worked at kind of took turns taking care of me, until he just showed up one day to show me the rules of the trade. I had never met him before that. The first time he made me go on an official job, I was 15, and I guess I made him proud, because he rewarded me with a hooker. A boy hooker, meaning he probably knew me better than I knew myself at the time. Kid was not much older than me, maybe the same age."

"Did you…"

"Lose my virginity to a prostitute? As if my life wasn't cliché enough? Yeah. And I fucked him without a condom because I was that stupid, and he didn't tell me to use one. Guess I was lucky though, since I didn't catch anything. And that's… that's all, I guess. Now you know of my dirty deeds and why I think you shouldn't associate with me." Were you alive.

"Levi…" Eren stands up and walks all over the food to get to you. He kneels beside you and hugs you sideways. 

Then he smells your hair.

Oh, no, he was just taking a deep breath. "I… I'm sorry. I don't know what to say to any of this, how I should react to it. I… guess I understand, your job's your job, right. Not all jobs are, uh, normal. It doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world, actually. I mean, you didn't actually kill people, right?" You shake your head. "It might be a criminal line of work, but in the end… I guess I don't care?" He shrugs. "No, I'm sure of it. The way I feel about you hasn't changed one bit. I'm glad you've told me, though. And only for this, I'm glad we're in here, because if we were alive you wouldn't have, would you?"

"No. I'm sorry. A job well done requires that absolutely no one knows who I am. So does my own safety. I might have told you about the rapist, except I'd leave a few details out."

"As for him…" Anger blooms in Eren's face, and he clenches his fists. "He deserved it. I know it's not my place to judge it, it wasn't yours either, but it doesn't matter. I would have done the same." He calms down after revealing his thoughts. "Now how…" He sits down and takes one of your hands on his. "How does it work? Your job? How do you do it?"

"Believe it or not, I have an ad on the internet. Although you really have to know what you're doing to find it. And people do find me, even if my prices aren't for everyone. All my years doing this, I gathered a small fortune. I have enough money to retire if I want to." You sigh. "I mean, I used to have, right? A loaded bank account and now I'm rotting somewhere under the ground. I was supposed to make a document leaving it all to my sister after I died, but I never got around to it. 

"The rest is… boring stuff with tools and chemicals, you don't wanna hear about that." You look at Eren, and he shows no sign of wanting to run the hell away from you. "I would have stopped. If we were alive, and you were still going out with me after finding out all of my annoying habits, I would have stopped. I'd probably tell you I inherited a lot of money or something."

"Why didn't you? You could do something else, couldn't you?"

You shake your head. "It's something I know how to do well, didn't see the point in having to learn all kinds of new shit when I could just continue with the old shit."

"What about… do you still talk to your father?"

"I haven't seen him in over ten years. I wouldn't exactly shed a tear if he were dead, though."

"And your friends? Don't they suspect anything?"

"My friends… I don't really have any close friends anymore, just some people I go out and have a drink with every now and then. To them, I'm a programmer who works from home. Even though they seem to think I'm a hacker." You sigh. "They're not wrong, but it's not something I usually do to get money, mostly information."

Eren seems to be thinking about what else he wants to ask. "Isn't it dangerous for you? I mean, if someone sees you?"

"If I have to interact with someone, I'll use a disguise."

"Oh? Like a latex bodysuit with a mask?"

"No, but I can see you're imagining me in a gimp suit now. It's just a mask, but a really well made one that I got from a movie studio makeup artist."

You look at each other for a long time, until Eren brings one of your hands to his lips and kisses it. "I'm okay with all of that," he declares. "Now tell me about your annoying habits."


	9. Chapter 9

You're lying on your arm looking at Eren, while he does the same. You suppose you might look like a couple of dorks in love, which you are, but no one's watching anyway.

Well, _someone_ might be watching, but you don't give a shit about them.

You touch his face, knitting your brows. "I can't believe I never asked this, but what color are your eyes?"

"Oh, this has been a subject of discussion ever since I can remember. Some people say they're blue, while others say they're green."

"What do _you_ say?"

"I lean towards blueish green. Although after I just wake up, they're not so dark, but a much paler green, almost yellow. Kinda creepy."

"Hmm. I bet it's beautiful. Wish I could see."

He smiles sweetly. "Your eyes change color too, don't they? Sometimes they're grey, sometimes they're blue."

You frown. "I don't think I've ever seen my eyes as blue."

"They're blue right now. For most of the time, actually. Well, it's a slate blue really, but not grey at all. The only times I remember them being grey were when we first got here, and when you were telling me about your job."

So, what he's telling you is that your eyes are apparently mood rings.

That night, Eren teaches you to meditate. It brings you such a peace of mind that makes you absolutely sure your eyes are blue as you do it. With some practice and a lot of concentration, you go back to the world of the living. You visit your apartment, and your memory apparently is flawless, because you can remember every single detail of it. The way you've left an unwashed cup over the sink before you left the night you wouldn't return. The way you piled up the cushions on the couch out of boredom. The ads under your door.

Those weren't there when you left.

Is astral projecting a thing?

You decide to change the scenery and go somewhere else. Your sister's apartment. You see her speaking on the phone with a worried look on her face, while her mother feeds your niece. But it's a static scene, frozen in time. Disgusting baby food is dripping from the spoon, but it doesn't reach the floor. Weird.

You open your eyes and Eren is watching you, which surprises neither of you, as you're used to his staring by now. "Eren, does something happen when you do it?"

"Like what?"

"Like… do you go somewhere? Do you imagine things?"

"No, I… when my friend taught me, it was just to help out when I was angry. I would mostly focus on keeping calm really. Did something happen to you? Did you see something weird?"

"Yeah. Either that or I have one hell of a good memory. I remembered details about people and places I usually wouldn't. I am good with details, given what I do, but after a while, I'll just erase everything that's unimportant from my mind. I saw things that weren't supposed to be like that. I saw my apartment and I could see it more perfectly than I thought I'd remember it, except for some flyers under the door that weren't there when I left. And last time I saw my sister, she had long hair, like she's always worn. But just now when I was thinking about her, she was wearing it short. I haven't seen my niece in over 2 years and yet I could perfectly imagine her as a 4 year old." She wouldn't be 4 yet, but almost. The fact is that you imagined her as older than the last time you saw her.

"So… you think you really went there? But wouldn't your apartment be empty? Like, people come to empty our houses when we die, don't they? I don't know how long it's been since we got here, but I'm pretty sure it's been months."

You frown, thinking about what this could mean, then your lips curl up. "Why don't you try it? Close your eyes and try to go to your place. Do you remember how you left it?"

"Ugh, a total mess, probably. At least my room. Armin's room's gonna be spotless like always."

"Armin seems like a sensible person."

"I'm not sure I can do it, Levi. I was never able to concentrate all that much."

"With the amount of determination you have, you'll be fine. All you have to do is think about the place."

"Look at that. Now you're the one teaching me." Eren sits cross-legged and takes a deep breath.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Not really."

"Then get comfortable, I think it helps. I was lying down when I did it."

He gets up and sits with his back against the wall. "That's better. Help me out some more."

"Focus on one thing only. When you envision it, you'll start feeling a… sort of a transition. Your room, what do you remember the most about it?"

"My bed, wardrobe and the nightstand. I can't remember the things on it though, probably my uh, box of tissues. Oh, my cellphone's charging on it. I didn't take it when I left because I'd forgotten to charge it at work. And all the shirts I've tried before picking this one are on the bed."

It's working. "Now go to your friend's room."

"He's always studying until late at night, I always hear him typing up on his computer when I'm dozing off. Ah, there he is. Oh, Armin, so good to see you! He's… wait, what is he writing? " _As Robert starts to corner him, Craig is unsure what to do. Sure, he could just push him, and if push came literally to shove, he's pretty sure he can handle Robert. But… does he want to?_ " Oh my god. Is that fanfiction?"

You can't help your chuckle. "Try going somewhere else now. Your parents' house. Eren?"

He doesn't respond, and you don't bother him. After a couple of minutes, he opens his eyes again, but he doesn't look happy. 

"Levi… I saw my mom. She was crying. She was on the phone and she was crying. My dad was getting up from the sofa and reaching for a coat. What… Levi… I never thought about it. Holy shit. I never thought about how they would feel if I died. Am I really that selfish?"

You pull him to an embrace, running your fingers through his hair. "Of course not, Eren. I haven't really thought about anything else since we got here, other than wanting to leave and… you. Maybe that's just what this place does to us. But don't you see? You did it. You went back."

"I did, didn't I? But… my room was as I left it, and I think mom was crying because… because someone told her I was dead? Why… why hasn't time passed?"

"I was thinking that maybe time froze when we died, from our perspective as souls or whatever bullshit we are. But time did pass. Emergency services have been to the scene if our next of kin were being notified. Except… very little time passed. An hour maybe."

"Well, I know for sure we haven't been here for only an hour."

"What if time doesn't exist in this place? The outside never changes."

"Yeah, I think that could be it. So… if we try again, more time will have passed in there?"

"Maybe. Do you wanna try it or should I?" Although you have no idea what purpose would that serve, if any.

Eren seems conflicted, but he nods. "I'll go. At least I'll see my mom again."

He leans against the wall and closes his eyes again. When he returns, he doesn't look sad, but confused.

"My mom was the same, but dad wasn't standing up anymore, he was sitting back down."

You frown.

Oh.

Yet.

Not anymore, yet.

He wasn't standing up yet.

"Eren--"

"I wanna go see it."

It takes you a moment, because you had something else in mind. "The accident?" He nods. "Will we even be able to? We don't know where it happened."

"Oh. Shit, I completely forgot about that."

"Unless… unless we go to that nightclub and walk from it to my house."

"But aren't there different roads to take?"

"Yeah, but I'd probably be dying to screw your brains out and take the shortest route." You don't linger on how cute Eren is blushing all embarrassed like that because you might be onto something here and you don't want to lose your train of thought. "I just don't know if we'll be able to go together."

"Well, let's try it!" Eren closes his eyes again, and you do the same.

"Wait, I can't. Let me lie down first." Eren doesn't respond. He's there already. "Fuck." You lie your head on his lap and close your eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

You're standing in front of the nightclub. The colorful sign in front of it says _Decadance_ , and you had forgotten about the stupid pun. You don't see Eren anywhere, and you don't think he's wandered off on his own, because he wouldn't know where to go. So coming together doesn't work.

Walking along the road, you soon start seeing the scene from afar. Police cars and ambulances, your car…

And a truck. A truck is eating your car.

You feel a little bad about it, the old Camaro's been with you for so long, you hadn't realized just how fond of it you were. But that's obviously not the worst part of the scene. Getting closer, you can see yourself in it, your bloodied head on the wheel. It makes you wonder if you hit it so hard you've scrambled the part that lets you see colors. And Eren…

Eren isn't in the passenger seat. And the windshield has a person-sized hole on his side. He wasn't wearing his seat-belt. If he were, he might still be alive. You steel yourself and take a couple more steps, then you see his body lying in front of the car with a piece of wreckage impaling his chest. His head is missing. You walk some more and find it by the sidewalk, a couple of men with a body bag in hands next to it. Were they going to put the head first and then the body? And how long has passed since the accident? You approach the police car, where one of the cops is handcuffing some guy with the stupidest hairdo you've ever seen, it looks like a bird's nest.

"So you're the fuck who killed us. I hope you have fun in jail." You take a look at the police report and find out that not only was the guy heavily inebriated, he was also asleep at the wheel.

Shit, Eren. If Eren isn't here, he might have gone back, and he might be worried, so you go back too.

"--VI! Ah, you came back!"

"Eren, don't yell. Where were you?"

"I was right there with you! Why wouldn't you talk to me?"

"I…" You sit up and caress his face. "I'm sorry. I couldn't see you there. I wasn't ignoring you on purpose, alright?" You kiss his forehead and he sniffs. You kiss it again, wondering why he could see you, but you couldn't see him. "Did you look at it?"

"Yeah. So that's why… my head…" He sniffs again, and you curse yourself for letting him come with you, even if you weren't together. You're more than used to sights like that… you've caused sights like that, but normal people aren't.

"I'm so sorry, Eren. If it's any consolation, at least the police caught the guy. Fucker was drunk sleeping at the wheel. I don't think he tried to escape or anything, but it's good to know he'll pay for it, right?"

"The guy…? Oh! Shit, I'm so stupid! I did see a truck ramming the back of the car, but when I saw us dead, I forgot all about it. So… you see, it wasn't you!" It wasn't, and you're really glad for that. One thing less to eat at your conscience at least. "Why couldn't you see me, though?"

"I don't know. Maybe because we didn't go together. After you closed your eyes, I couldn't focus, but you were gone already."

"Oh. Y'know, I tried to touch you, but my hand went right through your arm. It was so creepy, Levi. And you not seeing me… I… just came back and you took so long. I thought… I thought you wouldn't. That you would stay there."

You're taken aback by Eren's words. "Why… why would you think that, Eren? What could I possibly want from that stupid frozen world? If I could have seen you, yeah, maybe it would be better to stay there. But without you?"

"I…" He lowers his head. "I don't know. I'm usually not this insecure, alright, but…" He shrugs.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold him tight. "I don't know what I can do to reassure you. You have my word I'm not going to abandon you, Eren. I promise."

"Shit. I know. I know. Damn it, Levi. I just… I didn't want you to think I'm clingy or anything, and then I can't stay a few minutes away from you."

You kiss his forehead. "Eren, you hold me like a body pillow when we sleep. I know you are. I like you clinging to me."

"That's not what I--"

"I know what you meant. And I don't want you to stop. I cling to you, too."

His eyes seem to sparkle as he looks at you. "Levi…" But he has no words left, instead choosing to smash his lips against yours. Different from the wild kisses you're used to, he kisses you softly this time, slowly, almost reverently. He stops suddenly. "I love you so much." And continues without giving you time to respond that you too, love him very much.

You don't know when was it that Eren lied down, pulling you with him, or even when the kiss stopped and you both fell asleep, but as you wake up, Eren's even more entangled with you than usual. "Levi…" He bites your neck softly and you shiver. "We should go back, shouldn't we?"

You don't want him seeing it again. But you have no idea how you'll talk him out of it if he really wants to go. "What if we tried again but went somewhere else instead?" Well, that's an idea.

"Like where?"

"Like… that restaurant where we had our date. I'm sure you know where it is, it's called Sen. The one across the central park?"

"You… you took me to a place that fancy? Holy shit, you should have told me to dress better. No wonder everyone was looking at me."

You smirk. "I think they were looking at you because you started to stomp all over our food."

"I what?" You don't say anything, letting him remember that day. "Oh. Shit. Maybe I'm not as good at make-believe as I thought I was, huh."

You kiss his hair and grab his ass to bring him even closer. "You are. I just thought you hated the food. Let's try again later, alright?"

"...Yeah. Thank you, levi."

You have no idea what he's thanking you for, so you just kiss his head again.

* * *

When you wake up again, Eren's lazily fondling you, but it doesn't seem like he's awake.

"You're horny even when you're sleeping, aren't you?" He doesn't say anything, and his hand doesn't stop. And you're starting to respond to it.

"Shit." You shake him awake because that's just not fair

"Hmmwha?" Instead of waking up, he stops stroking you and puts his hand on himself, and his pants are tenting already.

You lay a hand over your eyes and snort. "Holy shit." Then you turn towards him and start singing the chorus to "Wrecking Ball" slowly in his ear, because you certainly don't limit yourself to Katy Perry. When his hand starts to gain speed, you grab his arm to get him to stop. "Eren, for fuck's sake." Your voice is amused, but loud enough to definitely wake him up this time.

"I… huh?"

"You huh gave us both boners. What do you plan on doing about it?"

"Oh." He gives you a naughty smile, and then climbs over you. "How about this?" He opens your fly and then his, grabbing you both in his hands. You put an arm under your head to watch it, but he stops and lies down, pulling you on top of him. "Actually, I think I'd rather you fuck me."

"Really?" Even though he's quite vocal when it comes to sex, Eren rarely talks like that, and you wonder what's gotten into him. You bring a finger to your lips, because Eren always likes to start with fingering, but he takes it into his mouth before you can suck on it. You love it when any part of you is in his mouth, he certainly has a talented tongue. He doesn't stop on a finger, and quickly starts sucking on another one, and then both at the same time.

"Yeah. And I mean fuck me." He pushes your hand down onto him. "Please don't be gentle. I want you hard."

"Eren…" You're always so afraid to hurt him, and you don't know what to make of his request.

"Please… I'll tell you if it's too much, okay?"

You kiss his neck, getting your two wet fingers into him with some difficulty. "Is this one of your fetishes?"

"You're my fetish, Levi. God, I love everything you do."

You remember thinking that about him once and not having the balls to say it. You can't tear your eyes from his face as you hasten the pace of your fingers. At the slightest sign of discomfort, you'll stop, but Eren doesn't show any. His hips move with your hand, until he pushes your arm away, only to take you in his hand and bring you to him.

"Give it to me."

You've had wild lovers before, and you know exactly what to do. You're just… so concerned for his well-being. But you still enter him fast like he wants you to, and keep moving, still watching his face. His eyes are closed, and he's panting, but he shows no signs of distress.

The foot he has over your ass eggs you on to move even faster, and you do so, still weary. But he moans loudly, panting your name and pushing hard against you.

"Aahh… fuck… more… harder…"

You bite hard on his neck as you increase the pace even more, wondering if you two look like cats in heat right about now.

You watch as his come hits his stomach without you even touching him, and that is enough to send you over the edge with a couple more thrusts. Eren leaves butterfly kisses on your lips and chin while his fingers move lazily on your hair. You're about to pull out, but Eren insists you stay inside, so as always, you comply.

His warmth against you feels heavenly, and his even breathing tells you he's sleeping already, so you do the same.


	11. Chapter 11

"Eren, you wanna try again now?"

He looks at you with puppy freaking eyes. "Um… I can't right now."

You knew. You knew this was what he was doing. You almost feel used. But you're not mad at him, just confused. "If you didn't want to, you could've just said so, you know. You didn't have to get me to fuck you until you were incapacitated."

He looks away from you, obviously feeling guilty. "You don't get it! I… look, I do want to go, but…" He groans. "When I came back and you wouldn't wake up, I thought… I thought I would lose my mind. I thought, what if he never wakes up and I'm left here all alone?"

You sit down next to him and take his hand. "Remember what I told you, Eren. I'll never abandon you. Even if I can't see you again, I will try it, and if it doesn't work, I'll come back. Alright? You just have to wait for me. If you don't want to be alone, then don't come back. Stay and only come back after I do."

"...Okay, yeah, I'll do that."

"So, shall we?"

"Um… my ass, though."

You sigh and lie down holding him tight. "Just tell me when you're good."

* * *

"In front of the restaurant, Eren. okay?"

"Yeah."

You both close your eyes at the same time. When you open them, you immediately look around but don't see Eren. "I'm sorry, it didn't work. I'm going back, Eren."

When you open your eyes again, Eren's still hasn't come back, so you just watch him and wait.

And wait.

After a while, you start to get nervous, and Eren's fears don't seem stupid at all to you. Why isn't he waking up? Maybe he's doing it on purpose so you know how it feels? Okay, it feels shitty. You start shaking his shoulder. "Eren, come back. Wake up!"

Nothing. "Fuck."

What will you do if he never wakes up and you're all alone in this house?

What if…

What if this is that creature's doing to goad you into going through the door?

"Eren!"

His eyes snap open, and when he sees the look on your face, he holds you in a death grip. "I'm sorry. I'm here now."

"Did you--"

"I came back as soon as you did. Did I take too long to wake up?"

With your nerves calming down, you try to get him to ease up on the bear hug. "Yeah, a while. It doesn't make sense. But… but I still have a couple of ideas I wanna try. For the first one, I need you to stay here. I'm going back to the scene to see something. It's just a hunch, but I promise I won't take long. Wait for me. I know how long it takes now, and I'm sorry. Don't go through the door, Eren. I will come back. Alright?"

"I… now?"

"Please?"

He takes a deep breath and nods. "Alright. Let's just get it over with."

As soon as your eyes close and you're back on the scene of the accident, you notice very small details that are different. The paramedics are a couple of steps farther away from Eren's head than they were before, and the cop is about to handcuff the stupid looking man. 

So it really is as you thought.

You look at your corpse.

It's exactly the same, there's nothing to confirm or deny your other theory, and reading the report, you find out the time of death for both of you is also the same.

But

You still think you might have been second. Eren obviously died immediately, but it might have taken you a few seconds after you hit your head.

So you go back, no point in worrying Eren more than necessary.

He smiles happily when you open your eyes. "You didn't take long at all this time!"

"Really? Huh. Maybe the delay only happens when we go together, then. Okay, so here's what I think. We didn't die exactly at the same time. You died first, that's why when we go there, we're not there at the same time. Fuck, this is difficult to explain, or make sense of."

"No, I think I get it. So, how was it? Had time passed there?"

You don't want to tell him yet. "I couldn't be sure, I'll have to try again later. Now for my second idea, you have to come with me. We'll go back to the front of the restaurant. Stay there and wait. I wanna try something."

Eren nods, and you both close your eyes and go over again. When you get there and don't see Eren, you sit down and close your eyes again. "Don't go back, Eren. Stay and wait." Instead of going back to the house, you try to go to the restaurant again. The one you're currently sitting in front of.

You open your eyes and still don't see Eren.

But

You think you feel his presence.

"Again. Stay here, Eren." You close your eyes again and repeat the process.

You open them and you're looking at the sign that says Sen. When you turn your head

You smile. He's there. And it looks like he's screaming, but you can't hear him.

"Damnit. Again."

The next time, you stand up and he touches your arm carefully. When his hand doesn't go through you like it was probably happening earlier, he pulls you to his arms.

"Levi! It worked! You're here!"

"I'm here." You put your face on his neck and breathe his scent deeply. "I don't know how or why but it worked." Layers. Astral projecting apparently has layers. Or whatever it is this that you're doing, you have no idea what it is and it doesn't really matter if you're being honest.

You're still dead, and the world is still frozen and grey. But you're not in that house anymore. You're here with Eren, and your pretend dates could be much more interesting now.

Holding his hand, you step into the restaurant.

And you're immediately pulled back to that foreboding white nothingness.

"WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU ARE DOING?" The disembodied voice is low and threatening as it tries to explode your head.

"No, what are you doing?" Eren's voice is almost as loud as the entity's. "That was so difficult and you ruined it just like that?"

"You cannot do that! You should not be able to-- How-- it would take years--"

"Oh, now the great and powerful one can't finish a sentence. Great job you're doing on threatening us." You want to say something, but watching Eren arguing with the thing is pretty interesting.

The creature lowers its voice, and it seems to be in genuine confusion. "But… how…"

"Determination, bastard. Look it up." You snort, you can't help it. Sassy Eren is hilarious.

"Regardless, you are not to do it again. Either stay in your house playing lovers or go through the door."

This time you do speak up. "Or?"

It makes a noise as if it was taken aback by your audacity. It's probably not used to being defied.

"Or I shall destroy you both where you stand. No more loops, no more worlds. Your existence ends forever."

You're not convinced. "I think if you could, you would have done so already."

"Oh, Levi Ackerman. You know of nothing."

"Enlighten me then, fucker."

"Fine. Fine. I will tell you the one truth you need to acknowledge. You are mine. I have been yearning to consume you for a long time now, and now that I have gotten my eye on you, I do not plan on letting you escape. Yes, I could destroy you right now, but I would rather not. I would rather devour you, Levi Ackerman."

You feel every hair on your body standing up. "Fuck you, you creep! That'll never happen!"

"As you wish, Levi Ackerman. Remember when I said we were patient. I will put you back in the house, but the door will not open no matter how much either of you beg for it. You will stay until you learn your place. Oh, and in the moment you cross over to the world of the living again, you will be stricken instantly."

In a flash, you're back in the house, sitting on the floor, and Eren has his arms around you, and he's mumbling something on your neck. "...eat you, only I get to do that. Even though it doesn't stay inside me, I'll still--"

"Eren."

"Levi! Are you okay? What are we gonna do?"

"It was bluffing. It's not gonna kill us if we go back."

"How can you know that?"

You smirk at him. "Well, you seem to think I taste good, so it wouldn't miss the opportunity to eat me, would it?" When Eren blushes just like you thought he would, you continue. "All jokes aside, I'm pretty good at telling when someone's lying."

"Are you sure? How about when I told you I was 22?"

You avert your eyes from him. "I… I don't know, Eren. Maybe I just heard what I wanted. I wasn't paying enough attention."

He puts a hand under your chin to get you to face him again. "Or maybe I'm immune to your lie detector. But are you really sure about it not killing us? What if it kills me but not you?"

"Then I'll stay here forever just to spite it. And it probably knows me enough to know I'd do it. But it's not gonna come to that."

"Levi…"

"There's only one way to know for sure." You're pretty confident you're right, so you stare at Eren and wait for him to close his eyes.

He sighs. "Fine, whatever. If we die, at least it will be painless. Probably."

"We're not gonna die. Now close your eyes."


	12. Chapter 12

You were sure it was going to work, that the entity was bluffing.

When you cross and don't see Eren, you feel like you just swallowed a bag of ice. A bag of ice made of sewer sludge.

Then you remember. The layers. You have to do it a few more times to get in sync with him. So you calm yourself and do so. By the third time, everything is okay again, and you hold him against you for a good ten seconds.

"Levi… I thought you were sure it was gonna work. Why do you look so relieved?"

"Shut up. Shut up and let's eat pretend sushi."

Your table next to the piano is empty as it should, and you sit across from him. You still can't actually look at the menu, but it doesn't matter.

You wonder if you should tell Eren your new plan, or wait until you're more sure. You check the clock on the wall, and it says 10:37p.m.

After the date, you go back to the house, because you don't want to push your luck. When Eren falls asleep, you go back on your own.

The clock still says 10:37p.m. But the second hand is not on the 6 anymore, but on the 4.

...

Does it rewind a few seconds each time you go? Or does it have to do with how long you stay in the house before going again?

What will happen when--

You don't want to think about it yet.

For now you just go back and try to pull Eren as close to you as you can without waking him up.

* * *

You tell him.

"Don't get your hopes up. But I think it's worth to check it."

"Levi, that's… that's crazy! Do you really think it's gonna work?"

"I just told you, Eren. I have no idea. But we should try it anyway."

He thinks for a moment. "Okay, no, yeah, I agree with you. So? What do we do?"

"I need to test how it works. I'll make some experiments, and I want you to stay here so we won't have to worry about the thing smiting you as it said it would or with me having to synchronize with you first." Eren stares at you and doesn't say a word. "Eren."

He buffs. "Yes, I understand. Okay."

"And I think it would be better if we didn't see each other while I do this, otherwise I'll just get distracted every time I come back, and I need to focus."

"Levi…" He sighs, and you hold his head against your neck. He puts his hands on your chest, almost as if he wants to push you away. Then his hands travel down. "Then let me have a last meal first."

* * *

With all of your tests, you reckon more time rewinds the longer you stay without going back to the world of the living. But it's still at a crippling pace. Both you and Eren try to estimate how long you should wait until you can go back to the desired time, and conclude it will be a long time. This is made especially jarring given the fact that you don't have any means to count time in this house, so you really can't know for sure when the exact time to go back will be.

Because you can't keep going back anymore. The last time you were there, you were sure you could feel the entity's eye on you. You don't want to risk going back until you're sure.

You need to distract yourselves, for a long time.

"Tell me something about yourself, Eren. Something you haven't told me yet."

"Um… I think I've told you everything about me that I could, Levi. I can't think of anything else."

"Oh, really? Then why are you blushing? You're hiding something, and I intend to make you tell me." You wiggle your fingers at him, because one thing that Eren's already told you is that he's ticklish in pretty much every single part of his body. "See? My lie detector does work with you."

"No, c'mon! You're not gonna like it, I swear. You're gonna be disgusted with me."

You stop, your hands still in front of you. "Eren. Listen, if it's something serious, I'm not gonna push, but--"

"No, nothing like that. It's… it's just gross, okay. What am I gonna do if you refuse to touch me again after you hear it?"

You shake your head at him. "There's not a chance of that happening. Ever. Now spill it." You're already tickling his sides.

He groans amidst his laugh. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. I, uh, I once spent a whole month without showering."

Your fingers stop mid-tickling, and you move your hand away from him. "What."

"Agh, see? You're disgusted now. I knew this would happen."

"No, no, I'm kidding." You pull him close and are about to kiss his hair, but you stop. "This month in question wasn't when we met, was it?"

"No, it was two years ago."

"Oh, okay." Now you kiss his hair. "Continue."

"I thought… no, I was pretty sure there was a ghost in my bathroom." You glare at him, but don't interrupt. "Okay, I was still living with my parents right, and every time I passed in front of the bathroom, it was like I could feel someone or something inside, and I would look, and there was no one there. Sometimes I could swear I saw something on my peripheral vision, but obviously when I looked straight at it, it was gone. I just… I couldn't go inside, it felt so creepy.

"I had dropped out of school and my parents wouldn't give me an allowance anymore. So I was doing part-time jobs here and there. I tried going to a bathhouse to shower but there were always a bunch of perverts in there, every time, and uh, quite honestly, I wasn't very concerned about my personal hygiene anyway. My mom started to complain, but then my dad started to tell her something about boys being at a certain age, and going back to the wilderness or something, I have no idea what he meant by that, but they ended up leaving me alone.

"Then one day I caught myself going to take a piss in the middle of the night, and realised that whatever it was, it was gone. I finally asked mom if someone had ever died in our house, and the way she looked at dad told me that yeah, that's what happened. She told me a cousin was visiting her once, and this cousin started to feel sick one day, and the next day they found her dead in the bathroom. And this happened when I was just a baby, so there was no way I would remember, and they never talked about it."

So… she was going back to the place she'd died. Like you. Eren's eyes widen, and he hits his closed fist on his palm. "Ah! Just like us!" He reads your mind. "We were ghosts when we returned there, weren't we? So that's what ghosts are."

"People who manage to come back. But it's not something many can do, it seems. And judging from your story, time isn't really frozen, is it. It just moves differently between the living and the dead."

"I guess." He climbs on your lap and starts unbuttoning your shirt. You raise an eyebrow at him.

"What the hell in that story made you horny?"

"Levi, with you around, I'm always horny."

You see no reason to complain.

* * *

You wake up and urge Eren to tell you more about him. "You hadn't even told me you had dropped out of school, clearly there are still lots of things for you to tell me."

"Um… okay, but not that, that's boring. I just decided that school wasn't for me, and I didn't intend to go to college anyway. My parents were against it, sure, but you know I'm kinda stubborn, right?" _Kind of_ , he says. "I just wanted to work, and have my own money, and buy all the stuff I wanted."

"Anything in particular you wanted to buy?"

"No."

You cross your arms, watching him smugly. "You answered too fast."

"Ugh, fine. A dildo, okay. I bought a dildo." He turns his face away from you with the cutest blush. "My fingers weren't cutting it anymore, and I didn't want to just have sex with random people just to get off."

You pull him to you, and bite his neck and laugh. You laugh for a while. Eren seems shocked at the noise, but doesn't interrupt you. "You've always been a horny little shit, huh." You bite him again.

"Y'know, I should be mad at you for laughing at me, but I had never heard you laughing before so I forgive you." He clears his throat. "A-anyway. I guess I could tell you about my brother."

You let go of his neck and stare at him, smile still on your lips. You kind of want him to talk more about that dildo, but that seems interesting too. "You have a brother. See how you haven't told me anything yet?"

"Well, he's a bit of a douche, and we don't see each other anyway. My dad's ex-wife is, um, well, she's not a bad person. But they'd been separated for 20 years and she still hadn't gotten over him. She would show up by our house when I was little to try and take him back. It got to the point where he had to file a restraining order. Her son got super pissed, and he'd yell at dad for having left them. My mom would just cry in the beginning, but then she started to get mad too, and she would yell back. I don't really know all the circumstances, and I may be biased, but I think dad did the right thing when he left her. She had something of a psycho look in her eyes.

"So one day Zeke, that's my brother, just got fed up and went away. To a whole other country, and he took her with him. I think they're in Germany, but I'm not sure. Haven't seen them since I was 10. He asked me if I wanted to go with them, but I said no, obviously."

The only way you can imagine Eren's brother is a slightly older and taller Eren. "Does he look like you? Your brother?"

"Levi… don't make me add jealousy on the list of the few feelings I have for him. No, he looks like my dad and his mom. I think I look more like my mom too. He's blond and ugly and stupid, alright?"

You rub your face on his with a smile. Smiles come so easily to you now. "I don't want anyone else in this world, _baka_." Eren watches anime, you know he understands the word.

He widens his eyes as if he just remembered something really important. "Speak more Japanese to me, Levi!"

You tell him random phrases and expressions you know, and he looks starstruck. You sing him some songs you heard on your sister's MP3 collection. You sing to him until he falls asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

You still can't know for sure how much time has passed. All you know is that time was moving on at a sluggish speed until you decided to visit the world of the living, and now time is reversing at that same speed.

You don't want to risk going back there and meeting the eye of the whatever creature that apparently reins over this realm. So you'll only go back again when you think the time is right. And for that, you have to wait. And wait. And wait.

The list of things to ask Eren is dwindling, and you think about what else to talk about.

"Levi… did you really never fall in love before?"

Well, Eren can ask questions too, you suppose. You hadn't thought of that. Probably because you don't want to answer them. You try to remember when was it that you talked about this. "I think I said I've never loved anyone like I love you. There was… there was someone else once. He was my best friend around the time I was 20. Actually, they were both my best friends. Farlan and Isabel. Hadn't thought about them in years." It's not exactly a lie, you think about them, but when you realize you're doing so, you make yourself think about something else.

Still with the weight of guilt on your shoulders, you allow yourself to reminisce. To think back on a time you were actually happy, even if it lasted only a few months. You think about their faces and can only imagine them smiling and laughing. And you were like them. Well, not exactly. You were-- 

"What happened?"

"Hmm?" You come back to the present, to your beautiful bright eyed boyfriend, expectantly watching you. "Oh. It was unrequited."

"What? But how? Who in the world could possibly not love you back, Levi?"

You've given up on telling him he thinks way too highly of you by this point. "A straight guy."

"Oh."

"And he knew it too. Nothing was a secret, I couldn't hide my feelings for shit. As a matter of fact, neither of us could.

"We all met at a bar. Isabel tried to pickpocket me and I grabbed her by the arm, then all of a sudden this guy comes out of nowhere telling me that's no way of treating a lady."

_Your eyes shift from the red-haired girl with a strong grip on your wallet to the blond guy holding a pool cue._

_They stay on the delicious blond holding a pool cue. You keep your poker face on as you speak._

_"She tried to mug me."_

_The tasty blond smirks. "That's probably because no one in this craphole has had the decency to buy her a drink." He gives her a charming smile._

_You refrain from rolling your eyes because you don't want to tear your gaze from him. "She doesn't even look old enough to drink."_

_The girl scoffs. "Hello, she's standing right here!" She tries to free herself from your grip, but fails miserably. She still hasn't released your wallet._

_"See, underage. What the hell is that bouncer up to if he can't even keep kids from getting inside?"_

_The blond finally shifts his eyes from the girl to you. "What are you talking about, bro? You look younger than her."_

_"Thank you. As a matter of fact, I'm celebrating my 21st tonight." You're not, but who cares._

_"Well, congratulations, now release the lady."_

_"Sure. As soon as she releases my wallet."_

_The girl groans and tries to shake you off. "You're not gonna acknowledge me at all, are you? Look, uh, bro?"_

_"Levi."_

_"Levi. If you buy me a drink, I'll give your wallet back."_

_"What if I don't wanna buy_ you _a drink?" Your eyes still linger on the blond. You wonder if he's noticed your subtle inflection._

_"Oh. Uh…" Blond puts the pool cue at a table and then starts scratching his neck and chuckling nervously. He's not good with being flirted at, you've already learned one thing about him._

_While he's distracted by his own nervousness, you twist the girl's arm to get her to drop the wallet and pick it up with your other hand._

_"Ouch! How strong are you?"_

_Before the man gets the chance to get angry at you, you let go of her arm and give him your undivided attention. "Tell you what. Why don't we all sit down and get a drink, that way we can all get to know each other better and find out why we did the things we did."_

"I can't tell you much more about this night, because it involved a shitload of beer, and I really don't remember. All I know is that by the end of the week, the 2 of them were the self proclaimed new recruits of a gang I didn't have. We did all kinds of shit together, and we had fun and wreaked havoc wherever we went. It didn't take long for me to realise Isabel was in love with me, and she knew I liked Farlan, who very ironically was head over heels for her. Remember how I said my life was a cliché? And I hadn't even told you about the fucking romantic triangle I was a part of yet. And like a stupid late night coming of age flick, we all agreed to never act upon our desires."

"Oh. So when you say fucking--"

"Figuratively speaking. For the most part. Farlan was… a very curious person. And have I mentioned we drank a lot? I'm sure you can see where this is going." Eren nods, but you'll continue. Now that you're here, might as well finish the story. "We had one drunk lay, me and Far, and when Isabel found out she was very, very pissed. She threw a bucket of dirty water on us, and I couldn't even say anything about how it made me want to tear my skin off. We deserved it. She gathered her things from the place we were occupying at the time and left, and he pretty much said to my face that he slept with me out of pity. Then he decided to tell me that he had made a successful move on her just a few days before. I didn't even think, I just threw his shit at him and told him to go after her. Tell her it was all my fault, do whatever he had to do. And he left.

"Two years later I got an invitation to their wedding, but I couldn't go. I still thought about him. And I wanted them to be happy. I saw them only once after that. In that same fucking bar. They didn't see me, though. I just ordered them a round of drinks and left. I was the odd man out." Despite the bitter ending to your tale, you think fondly of the memory now. The guilt over ruining what you had, and almost ruining their chance at love finally subsides and you realise you're really actually happy for them.

"Levi… holy shit…" Unshed tears glint in Eren's eyes. "I'm sorry I made you remember! I--"

"Eren, no. Calm down. I'm glad you did." You hold each other, unsure of who's comforting whom. "Thank you. It felt good to think about them. It felt really good. Right now I can look back on it with nothing but fondness. I should have contacted them, I know, and that is one regret that I have. But I'm still glad to have told you about them."

Eren rubs the backs of his hands over his eyes with a smile. "Damn, Levi. Your stories… if you could have written an autobiography, it would have sold tons. You'd be rich."

You shrug. "I kinda was already, did you forget? Never knew exactly what to do with all that money, though. Besides a clean place to live and food in my stomach, there was never much I wanted. How about you, did you have any big dreams?" You curse yourself for using past tense, but Eren doesn't seem to mind.

"Nah, not really. Never thought much about it. Guess I just wanted freedom, y'know? Do whatever I wanted. Money was never all that important to me, all I cared about was making enough to pay the bills and indulging in one thing or another every now and then."

"Ah, like the d--" Eren slaps a hand over your mouth, his face greyer than ever.

"We are not talking about that. Got it?"

You raise your hands in surrender, wondering if there'll come a time you'll really be so out of things to say that Eren will talk about his stupid dildo.

"Tell me about your friends, then. You only ever mention Armin. And you wonder why I get jealous."

"Well, I just spend most of my time with him, what can I say. But yeah, okay. So I guess first there's Connie and Sasha. They're our token straight couple of the group. Well, Connie's straight. Sasha's pansexual. Sasha's pan everything, I mean, she just loves everything, every food, every band, everything we do for fun."

You're a little confused. "Wait, Connie's the guy and Sasha's the girl?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just… never mind. I guess they both have unisex names."

Eren widens his eyes. "I hadn't noticed! But yeah, anyway, Connie's pretty fun too. He gives the best parties I've ever gone to. Then there's Ymir and Krista. They've been a couple for as long as I can remember. I play rugby with Ymir sometimes. And Krista--"

"Eren." You had to interrupt him. "You play rugby?"

"Yeah, why? It's pretty fun. Ymir taught me because she wanted to play but no one could take her on. I don't really understand, I think it's awesome. Krista is… uh, I think Krista is mafia."

"What."

He chuckles at the dullness of your voice. "I mean, she has a secret name that I wasn't supposed to know about, something like Rice? I heard about it by accident. And her dad is super shady."

Oh, you just know he's talking about Rod Reiss. He does go by another name in public. "Is her last name Lenz?"

"Ye-- how did you know?"

"She's mafia."

Eren gazes at you like you just told him the secrets of the universe. He gives a breathy chuckle. "Godamnit. Who else is there to talk about? Oh, Marco, I almost forgot about Marco. Ugh, and Jean." He stretches the name, doing a silly voice.

You raise your eyebrows. "I figure you're not a big fan of Jean."

"Eh, he's an ass. He even looks like one. Marco's real sweet, I mean, he puts up with Jean, what else can I say. The only thing I don't like about him is that he says me and Jean fight so much because we're so alike. Yeah sure. I don't look like a horse, do I?"

You were under the impression that the guy looked like an ass, as in butt. Somehow. But now you see he meant the animal. "If I had to compare you to an animal, I'd say you're kind of like a big cat. A jaguar, maybe." Also, your jealousy towards Armin has just shifted to someone named Marco. "So you're fond of this Marco then."

"Ah… um… okay, I'm just gonna tell you, since you told me about you. Marco was my first time, but we weren't in love or anything. We kinda just did it because we both wanted to lose our v-card. It was the first and only time I was ever on top, and I never plan on doing that again." He stares at you. "You don't wanna be bottom, right? Like, ever?"

Eren's so full of surprises, you know you'll have things to talk about forever if you have to. You raise an eyebrow at him. "What, you don't want a piece of this ass?"

Eren's lips curl down and his face bunches up as if he's deeply conflicted. "I'm sorry? I super don't. I mean… if you really, reaaaally--"

You decide to save him the bother. "Don't worry about it. I've never done it actually, so can't say if I'd like it or not." You'd do it, though, with him if he wanted to, you have no doubt about that. "So you had sex with Marco, but now he's dating Jean? Don't you think maybe that's the reason you two don't click?"

"I dunno, I mean, I did introduce them. He just likes to pick fights he knows he'll lose. He's probably a masochist or something. And well, these are my close friends. There are other people I see too, in clubs and parties, but we don't talk much. Although since we're talking about relationships, I'm pretty sure there's this girl and two other guys who are in a poly thing. They mostly keep to themselves, but I've seen her kissing one of them, and this guy kissing the other. And they're always together, always. It's definitely not something they do behind each other's backs."

You wish you could have met Eren's friends, they do seem interesting. Even the trio, which once again makes you think about your two friends of long ago. "So all your friends are couples except you and Armin." You're not really jealous of him, but you do like to pull Eren's chain.

Eren sighs. "Okay, fine. I can see where you're coming from. But like I said, Armin isn't into it, y'know, sex and romance. And I… I guess I wasn't really looking for it. Just wanted to have some fun."

You take one of his hands on yours and kiss him softly. "Nothing wrong with that." You were pretty much like that, too.

And look what became of that. You met the love of your life. 

Or maybe you should say you met the love of your death.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey Levi… do you think there's a way to defeat it?"

"The so-called god?" Eren nods. You were thinking about that earlier in the day. Or maybe earlier in the week, who knows for sure. "Eren… they've been doing what they do for an eternity, I don't think two puny humans would be able to get the jump on them."

"I guess." He bounces on your lap, moaning and biting his lip. You've been talking and fucking and sleeping and playing games for so long that you're convinced enough time must have passed. And you can't afford to be wrong. 

Because it would be really funny to try and return to a time when you're still alive just to be hit by that truck immediately and die again. It would be so hilarious you'd double die from all the laughter.

Eren bites on your neck to indicate that he's tired, and you lie him down and continue. "Besides, if we're lucky, we'll never see them again." He throws his head back and comes with a loud yell. You watch his radiant body shuddering under you, wishing you could be doing this anywhere else. Hawaii, France, Japan. Your bed, his.

When you're done, you pull up your pants and lie back down. "Listen, I think it's time."

Eren starts to get dressed as well. "Are you sure? I mean, it does feel like a lot of time passed, but how can we know?"

"I'll go first and check it out."

"No! If… if something happens… and I'm not talking about you taking long to come back like before. This is it, Levi. We gotta go together. This may be our only chance."

You take his hand in yours and kisses it. "You're right. If they smite you, they'll have to smite me too."

With your head on his lap, you wait for him to close his eyes and close yours too. You don't tell him you love him, don't give him one last kiss, and neither does he. You've gone through a lot of weird shit to not believe in jinxing.

You've never shared your biggest fear with Eren. That you go back, see yourselves alive, but can't return to it, can't warn them, only watch in despair as it happens again. If it comes to that… 

You'll think about what to do if it comes to that.

When the transition starts, you can also feel something different. You don't see it, but you're sure you can feel. The house disintegrating all around you.

Gone now that it had served its purpose.

The next time you open your eyes, the first thing you notice is that you're still holding Eren's hand. And that everything around you is a fiery and dusty orange, with a glow your mind has trouble processing.

"Eren--" You sit up but you can't see him. But you're still holding his hand. In panic, you pull hard on his arm.

"Ow! Levi! What's going on?" He falls over you.

"Thank fuck, I thought I was holding your severed arm for a moment." His chest is touching yours, but you still can't see him. Then the strange glow starts to dissipate and you start to make him out.

"Where--" An excruciating loud noise interrupts him, and you can't understand what it is. It's kind of like a siren, but a bizarre out of tune siren. After a few seconds, you think you can actually make up a word.

"NOOOOO!" It's a long 'no', an 'Anakin in _Revenge of the Sith'_ no, but you don't quite find it funny.

Of course it's the creature, what else could it be. Then… this place…

Is it its world?

"YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED! LEVI ACKERMAN! EREN JÄGER!"

Before you can open your mouth, Eren beats you to it. "Watch us die trying, bitch!" You love Eren.

"YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED! YOUR PLANS WILL NOT COME TO FRUITION. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST ONES TO TRY. YOU WILL FORGET. YOU WILL FORGET EVERYTHING AND IT WILL HAPPEN ALL OVER AGAIN ."

You look around as the thing speaks, and the strange glow has dissipated enough that you can see more than a couple of meters around you. Everything is blurry, but you can make out a rectangular shape in the distance, a building of some sort.

"Forfeit your futile goal and go through the door this instant. We will eat you, yes, but you will not be stuck in an infinite loop." The voice has lost some of its anger, but it still sounds pissed to hell.

What if… what if it's right? What if you go back only to die again and do the exact same things you did until you get here again, and then start all over? If you go through the door together, you might still find Eren in whatever world you end up in, you're sure of it. You're sure you've done it before.

"Eren--"

"Are you stupid or what? You think we're giving up without even trying? Leave us alone already! We're doing it whether you like it or not!"

The air clears even more during Eren's outburst, but you still can't understand what is it that you're seeing. The place looks like a wasteland, with purple puddles of a poisonous-looking substance here and there. Everything else is orange. There are tall, but strangely thin mountains surrounding the area, but you can't focus your eyes on them, it's almost as if they're rapidly blinking in and out of existence, and something that hasn't happened once ever since you died afflicts you. You have a headache. But when you close your eyes, it stops.

You look at Eren and he's clutching his head.

"Eren, don't look at those mountains. They're… weird." Saying so, you look again, and don't understand why you thought they were mountains, they're buildings, tall and thin buildings. Or are those monoliths?

"What mountains are you talking about? You mean those beams of light? Wait, no. They're… they're towers? What?"

Oh, now you see. "It's them, Eren. And there are many." You find a part of the horizon devoid of them and fix your gaze at that spot. "Follow my gaze. Your head will stop hurting." A green mist starts to surround you and you hazard a quick glance at them. "Eren listen. Can you focus?"

"I… I think I can."

"Good, because they're getting closer. We have to leave. Now." They don't make any noise as they approach you, but you can feel them creeping up on you. You're not entirely sure whether those things can really destroy you or not, and you don't intend to stay here and find out.

You hold Eren tightly. "Close your eyes and focus."

"Focus on what?"

A chill assaults your stomach. Because you were so used to focus on always going back to the same place, that's what you did before. You made a mistake in the last second, which is probably why you ended up where you are right now.

Because how would you go back to a place when you were somewhere else?

"Focus on my car. Do you remember? It's an old black Camaro, and you weren't wearing your seat belt."

"Yeah, I remember! It was--"

"Eren!" You swear you can feel the things' breath on your neck. "I'm sorry. It has to be now."

He smiles and nods at you. Then he closes his eyes. You burn his smile to your memory and think again how beautiful he is. When you first saw him dancing in that strange and beautiful way next to the bar… when he first looked at you. When you kissed him, when you danced and he agreed to come home with you.

You focus on the road, even though you had very little to drink, you're not going to test your luck. Eren's messing with the radio buttons, complaining about today's music, but you can't give him your full attention. Something is wrong.

It's that feeling like when you're not sure if you closed all the windows and a big storm's coming. No, stronger than that. Did you leave the oven on? The door unlocked? No, that's not it, you would never forget something like that. It's even more urgent.

Eren stops messing with the radio and straightens up on his seat. "Huh, that's weird. You know when you have that dream that you didn't study for a big test or something? Only… it feels like it was a really important test."

You quickly glance at him, then turn your eyes back to the road. "I was thinking the same thing. Like the first floor of my house is on fire and I'm just chilling on the second." You're not a big fan of that analogy, but you can't really put into words what it is that you're feeling.

"You're not just agreeing with me to get on my good side, right? I mean, I'm already going home with you and all."

His tone is amused, but you're sure you can hear worry in his voice too. The same worry you're feeling.

You glance at him again. "Listen, I--" The words die in your mouth.

Why is he grey?

You blink, and he's back to normal.

You groan. "Fuck, why can't I remember?"

"What? What you were going to say? Did something happen?"

"No, I… I don't know. Something's not right."

"I know." The mirth has left his tone. "I know."

You watch the traffic lights up ahead, about to turn red. You slow down, but as the light turns red, instead of stopping like you should, you make an abrupt left turn and park the car.

"Okay, why are we stopping? Can't wait 'til we get to your house?"

"No, I..." You have no idea why you did that. You just had a feeling. "I just thought if I turned left, things would be okay…?" Your words don't make sense to you even when you say them out loud.

Eren smirks at you. "Hey listen, if you want me to--" Eren's highly likely lewd suggestion is cut short by a truck speeding down the lane you were just in. In the next moment, it's crashing against the side of a building


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read _Levi Dances_ yet, now's probably the best time to do so, as it ties in basically with the ending of the previous chapter and this one. And also, don't forget to read _Odd Man Out_ if you want to know how Levi and Farlan's one night went.

Did… did that really just happen?

How did you know?

"Holy shit! It would've hit us if you had stopped at the red light!" Eren stares incredulously at you, and you don't have an explanation to give him. "And… and… we have to see if they need help! I--"

"He deserved it."

"W-what?"

You frown. "I don't know. But Eren listen, we can't be here. I drank a beer and that blue thing, remember? I'm not being fined for getting involved in something that doesn't even have anything to do with me. There's nothing we can do anyway, let's get some distance and I'll call an ambulance."

"But--"He stops and holds his head with both hands. "He was gonna hit us, and he was gonna kill us."

That seems to be enough for you to start driving again. "Seems like it." You look at Eren's midsection and start the car again. "And please put on your goddamn seat-belt."

He does so, and the rest of the drive is silent. You don't call an ambulance like you said you would, and Eren doesn't ask you to.

When you get home, you stare at the ads on the floor for a moment, but don't pick them up. Instead of pulling Eren to your bedroom, you go to the kitchen and make two cups of tea.

"Thanks." he takes the tea you offered, looking around your simple yet spotless apartment. "You have a pretty cool place." He drinks some of the tea, and you can feel his eyes on your back as you look for something to eat in the fridge. "So… what exactly happened back there?"

You find a cake you don't remember baking, even though it looks fresh, and sit across Eren, telling him to help himself. "I'm not sure. I don't believe in shit like that, but I think it was kind of like a premonition, but not really. I didn't have a vision of that truck hitting us or anything. I just knew I had to get out of that lane."

"Wow. Has this happened before?"

You do have a strong intuition, strong enough to dodge blows from people out of your line of sight a second before they hit you. And you always know when the cops are about to arrive at a crime scene you're cleaning. But nothing like what just happened. "No." 

"That guy, the trucker. Why don't I feel the least bit of sympathy for him?"

"You were right, he was going to hit us. If my… glitch hadn't happened, we'd be dead."

Eren finishes his third piece of cake, and his eyes haven't left you a moment ever since you got here. It's not always that you bring someone home to have sex with and end up having a tea party. Actually, this is the first time. "I hope you don't think I'm a bad person, but… I kind of super really don't care what happens to him."

You get up from your seat and clink your cup with Eren's. "You and me both. He was drunk and asleep. Don't ask me how I know this because I won't have an answer to give you." You stare at him the same way he's staring at you, and suddenly he gets bashful, blushing and turning his eyes away from you.

"So… um… are you gonna show me the rest of your apartment?"

You offer him a hand, which he immediately takes and gets up. "No, just the bedroom for now."

 

The moonlight shining through your window doesn't allow you to see much, after Eren asked you not to turn on the lights, but it's enough that you gaze at him and hold back a sigh over how absurdly beautiful he is.

You were thinking about pushing him on the bed and attacking his clothes right away, but now you're sitting against the headboard, and Eren is on your lap. He kisses you softly, exactly the way you love being kissed, his tongue rolling across yours in such a sensual manner you have to keep yourself in check not to moan with every break of your lips.

He grinds against you, and you lie him down, still kissing him, until he stops and kisses your neck and starts to unbutton your shirt. "Damn", he smiles. "I knew you were hot, but I didn't think you'd be this ripped. How many times a week do you hit the gym?"

"Every now and then." You take off his shirt and lick down his body, loving the way he sighs your name while your tongue's teasing his nipples. Your hands don't linger on his sides and chest, regardless of how much you want to keep touching him everywhere. You open his pants and push them down along with his underwear. Then you take him in your hand and stroke slowly. "You're quite something to look at, did you know that?" Your hand stops and travel lower, fingers only brushing his entrance. You reach for the nightstand, knowing the lube is right up front in the drawer. "How do you want it?"

"Like this, with you looking at me." you give him a quick kiss and uncap the lube, smearing it on a couple of fingers. He grabs one of his legs below the knee, giving you a nice view of himself. "I um… I'm not this bold usually, but I dunno, I feel like I can be myself right now."

You take in what he's showing you. "You look… Eren if I didn't want you around my cock right now so badly, my tongue would be inside you already." His position really makes you conflicted between eating him out or just straight up fucking him. You can always just do one now and the other later, it's not like this has to be a…

Oh

They're always one night stands, aren't they. You wonder if he's gonna be gone when you wake up tomorrow, and you really hope he isn't.

You go for the fingers, getting one inside of him quickly, pushing it deep, but it's not enough. You breathe into the kiss he's just started and swallow the first of his moans. He signals you to keep going, and you add your other lubed finger in, reaching deeper now, dying to hear what sound he'll make when you find his prostate.

He yells, and you swallow that too, removing your fingers, because you know he wants it now, and his hand is on you, leading you in, and you've never felt this connected with anyone before, you know him, and he knows you, his tongue and teeth on your neck drive you crazy, and you moan too, something you rarely do.

You kiss him almost the entire time, you two moving in unison, and it feels so good, not just physically, it feels good to touch Eren, to make him feel good. You want to satisfy him, you want to please him, and he's the same.

It doesn't take much for him to come, but you think he doesn't mind; it doesn't take you much either, you can just get more of him later if you want to, you think, even though you have no way of knowing this.

It's not until you're almost asleep with your face on his neck that you think about how you didn't even get a condom, which is something you never forget, but it doesn't matter, you know, you _know_ for a fact he's clean and so are you, and he doesn't mind your come inside of him, because you know he wants it, and you can't help but please him.

You raise your head, fighting to stay awake, because you just want to keep looking at him, and how insanely gorgeous he looks under the moonlight like that. He's obviously fighting to keep his eyes open too, as he brazenly glares at you. So you pull him as close as you can and stop thinking. Tomorrow is another day.


	16. Chapter 16

You wake up with a pair of eyes glued to you.

"Morning." He looks cautious. "Do you uh, want me to go?"

You glare at Eren for a moment, wondering if he's fucking serious. But you've just met him last night, and usually yeah, if they haven't left already when you wake up, that's what you ask of your bedmates, not without offering them a shower first, of course, maybe even a ride. You're not an animal.

But the thought of asking him to leave seems utterly absurd. For a moment you can't tear your eyes from his. They're a pale green that's almost yellow, and you find them too beautiful to be true. Finally, you turn to the nightstand to check your phone, and even though it's pretty bright outside, it isn't even 7a.m. yet, so you roll over and close your eyes.

"Go back to sleep. I'll make some breakfast in a couple of hours. Then if you still want to go, I'll take you home. Otherwise, I know a nice place we can have lunch later."

"Oh, okay!"

Not only you can hear, you can feel Eren's happiness in his voice. You feel your own lips curling up.

Two hours later, you wake up to blue green eyes, even more beautiful than before, wondering if you didn't dream that feral color earlier. You think about telling him he has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen, but not only that sounds mushy as hell, Eren's probably heard this a million times before.

"How long have you been watching me sleep?" Eren goes completely red. Before you know what you're doing, you reach for his face, caressing it, then his neck where you left one hell of a love bite yesterday. "Don't worry, I don't think it's creepy. Flattering, if anything."

"Um… I couldn't really fall back asleep after I woke up."

You stare at him for a few seconds, and then a few more. "You could have woken me up too, you know. I'm not used to sleeping much anyway. Today I was just… I guess I was really tired. Anyway." You sit up and look for your clothes, and they're across the room by the window. How did they get there? You know Eren's watching you as you get up to put them on and you love it. And since he seems to be the shy type, you bring his clothes to the bed and put them next to him.

"Thanks."

You nod. "When you're done getting dressed, come to the kitchen."

You don't have coffee, but Eren seemed okay with tea last night. You make the nice breakfast you promised him, and he's on the second round before you finish your first. After you eat, you go back to bed for a different kind of round two.

Your hands know all the places Eren likes being touched, if the noises he's making are any indication. And he knows you, too. How hard to bite your neck, the perfect way to run his fingers on your undercut. You two move like one, and it's incredible and amazing and exhilarating.

You've known him for less than 24 hours and you're already pretty sure that if it's up to you, your one night stands have come to an end.

He's so embarrassed at the restaurant, saying you shouldn't have brought him to such a fancy place, that you almost feel bad. He ends up ordering the same as you, gawking at you when you make the order in Japanese.

But you can't tell him that story.

"Did you have a reservation or something? My friend has tried to come here before, but he says the place's always packed."

"This," you say pointing to the table you're sitting. "This is my table. It's always reserved for me."

He just gawks at you again.

He says there's a movie he's been meaning to see, so you suggest going back to your house to watch it. You turn on the news first and you both learn that the guy from last night was indeed driving under the influence. Well, not driving per say since he was asleep. They start talking about his condition, but you change the channel. You put on Eren's movie, but 5 minutes in and neither of you is watching it anymore, and later you're sharing kisses in the shower, and then back in bed, where you finally tell him what you think about his eyes. He blushes and smiles shyly.

"You can't tell me you haven't heard it before."

"No, I did, but… it never made my heart-- uh… I mean, thanks."

The next day after Eren finally leaves, because he has work in the morning, the house feels empty. You feel empty, which bothers you since you've always lived on your own, you're more than used to it, and you've always thought you preferred it like that.

You think about getting a cat.

Sometimes you meet Eren for lunch, and he always comes to see you Friday after work and stays the whole weekend.

Sometimes he's black and white in your dreams, and you wake up from these remembering things that never happened. You buy a notebook and start taking notes. Empty house. Grey. Ancient gods. Loop.

You remember everything for a second, with your head feeling like it's going to explode, then you forget again.

Two months into dating, Eren almost gives you a heart attack when he reveals he's actually 18 instead of 22 as he'd previously told you. But you've fallen too deep by this point to simply throw him away because of something like that. His mother loves you anyway, regardless of how old you are. You're still weary of his father, but Eren assures you he's accepted you too. 

Eren ignores the name you gave the cat (what's wrong with Ripper?) and calls him Kiki.

"C'mon, Levi. Doesn't he look like Kiki? Y'know, from that movie."

Ah, Kiki the witch.

Which.

_Fight or give in. We can escape if we choose to defy it._

You look at the notebook; you don't remember writing that, but you take it to heart.

After more than a decade without talking to them, you pick up the phone and call Farlan and Isabel. The 3 of you talk for hours, and you tell them all about Eren, and you can hear in their voices how happy they are for you. Farlan ends up telling you he's figured he's bisexual, since he enjoyed that night with you so much he still dreams about it. Then Isabel is saying something about finding the right strap on, and you think about Eren's dildo and you just laugh, long and carefree.

The line immediately goes silent for a moment.

"Uh… bro? I think I just fell in love with you all over again." Farlan adds a 'me too'.

You're still smiling as you look at your boyfriend's picture on your phone. "Go fuck yourselves. I'm Eren's now." They both gasp loudly.

You knew your sister would like Eren, you just didn't predict exactly how much she would like him.

"Eren, you should just ditch my brother and be with someone your age." She grabs his arm and blushes as she speaks. You can tell she's joking, sort of, but you just sigh and dance around the kitchen with your niece.

"Look, uhm, I'm very flattered, onee-chan, but you know I'm gay, right? Besides…" He looks at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "I couldn't ditch him even if he wanted me to." And he'd been dying to call her _onee-chan_ since you asked him to go to Japan with him.

"Well, there you have it. Unhand my boyfriend now. Besides, don't you have your own boyfriend?" 

She smiles. "I don't think he would mind a little addition to our lives." She winks at Eren and you can't help a smile of your own over his embarrassed face.

In the end, despite all the glaring she's done at you, she says she's happy for the both of you. She's happy you've finally found love. You groan at her cheesiness, but you know she's absolutely right.

Eren gives you 2 presents on christmas, because one is for your birthday. You give him his christmas gift and wait for his reaction. Because the present's inside a small box.

"Levi… uh… I love you, but… we've been going out for six months."

"I thought this was what you wanted, Eren."

"It is! Er… um, I mean…Y'know…"

You can't watch him suffer for long. "Just open the box, Eren."

He reluctantly does so, and only finds a key inside the box. "Wha--"

"You always come when I'm in the shower, holy shit, it's almost like you know. Next time, just let yourself in." You meant to give him sooner, but christmas was coming, and you couldn't let the opportunity pass.

You thought he'd be mad at your trolling, but he just tackles you with such strength you both almost tumble over. "Thanks! I'll… I'll wear it around my neck so I won't lose it!"

"Just put it on your keychain like a normal person."

Besides, you wanted to know what he thought about it.

Out of nowhere you tell him not to enter any doors, should he find himself in a place he doesn't recognize. Just close your eyes, focus and come back, you tell him. Keep coming back.

"I know. Somehow… I know, Levi. I promise. And you promise me you'll do the same."

You do.

One day you wake up with Eren kneeling on the ground beside the bed.

"I know you were joking that one time, but I also know you think about it. But still… I dunno… I just felt like it should be over a year since we met before doing this. It might even still be too soon, but honestly I don't care because I know what I want, and what I want is you. Levi, will you marry me?" It has been exactly one year and one day since you two met.

Slowly you sit up and pull him to bed with you. "Eren… there's something you have to know if you really wanna spend the rest of your life with me." Eren looks nervous, but he nods.

He listens silently as you tell him all about your past, what you used to do, and that you stopped two months into dating him, because you already knew you wanted him for life then. And you tell him what you did to the man who assaulted your sister. Then it's your turn to be silent.

"Levi… a great woman once said, 'The past is in the past'. Honestly, it doesn't sound so bad, your former job." He smirks. "Kinda thrilling actually, to know I'm dating an ex criminal. I mean, I commit crimes all the time."

"Let me guess. Jaywalking and public intoxication?"

"Hey, they are crimes, okay?" His smile dies down. "As for the rapist? Good. I'm glad you did it. I'm okay with it, with everything you just told me. I do wanna talk more about it, though, your job. But later. I didn't get a ring because I don't even know what kind of ring to buy, but… you still haven't answered me. Will you marry me?"

You watch him for another moment, then rummage through the nightstand and find that same box from all those months ago, that Eren always thought it was empty and that you kept it because you're a softie. Well, it was empty until you measured Eren's ring finger while he slept.

"Something like this, I guess." You open it to reveal two rings, and Eren doesn't say anything as he grabs the larger one and puts it on your finger. His hands are trembling, and you smile as you do the same to him with the other one. "That's a yes, by the way."

Neither of you sleep a wink that night.

The wedding is grandiose, and because you only sent two invitations, you decide not to divide yours and Eren's guests, instead sitting your sister, Farlan and Isabel right in the middle of Eren's family. They get along really well. Your family's not very big, but, well, you suppose you're all part of the same one now.

You travel around the world on your honeymoon, making love every night, whether you're in a fancy hotel in a big city or in a Bed and Breakfast in the middle of nowhere.

You know something awaits you in the end, no matter how far this end is, and you know what to do. So does Eren. That day in the altar when you promised to be together forever, you fucking meant it. You'll keep coming back to each other until you're too old, in which case, you'll venture into that door, together. You have the most absolute faith you'll find Eren no matter if you're in this world or any other.

Regardless of which choices you'll have to make, nothing will ever break you apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after. Literally. I had lots of fun writing this story, and I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment if you enjoyed reading it, even if it's just a happy face or something, I don't care.
> 
> I think I'll write some oneshots now, but I already have an idea for the next multichapter. I said something about a slow burn somewhere and, yeah, it's gonna be slow as fuuuuuk.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. And don't forget to read my other stories!


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